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Don't mention the war.
DD did once, but I think he got away with it...
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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German tourist witnesses a road accident. He runs into a shop. Here is the conversation:
German: A man has been knocked down by a car. What number do I dial to get an ambulance?
Shopkeeper: No, no, no.
German: What do you mean, nein, nein, nein?
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Reminds me of the (probably faked) video about the German coast guard I saw years ago. There are two men, an old one and a young one, problably an apprentice.
The old man says (in German) to to the young one something like: I need to go to the restroom. Stay alert.
As soon as the old man is out of the door there is a voice from the speaker: Mayday, mayday! We are sinking!
The young man hessitantly grabs the microphone and says veeery sloowly with an incredibly awful German accent: Hello. Sis is se German coast guard. What are you sinking about?
The good thing about pessimism is, that you are always either right or pleasently surprised.
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So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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"Yes you did. You invaded Poland!"
Had some brilliant lines, that show: "She can kill a man at 10 paces with one blow of her tongue"
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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Don't mention the war.
Edit: I think OG did once but I think he got away with it.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Septimus Hedgehog wrote: all of this could have been mine
Britain, North Germany, Holland and Flanders should have merged into a single state centuries ago. We have a common language, common religion, common culture and would have been a dominant global force and avoided two world wars.
Shame.
modified 27-Feb-14 5:27am.
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So you mean German language, German Religion and German culture?
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Not German. Celtic
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Back to the roots eh?
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We would only have taken wales and Scotland with us into the Greater Union of Germanic Peoples is to have someone to make jokes about....
modified 27-Feb-14 5:37am.
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Platte Deutsch though.
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no way... badisch, the only german dialect that is truely worth keeping it
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Erudite_Eric wrote: WTF is basdisch
FTFY
It's the dialect many mix up with Swabian, but as Baden-Württemberg is a mix of 2 different provinces, the Badisch part (i don't know if there is a english word for that) and the swabian part (Württemberg). And both dialects are completely different for those who speak it. But i see this is to deep into German neighbour rivalries.
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Ah, OK, I drive past there when O go home. I forget how young Germany is and really how many almost separate languages it has.
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Yeah there are a lot, the funniest Thing to see is the south German ppl getting subtitles in tv cause "nobody understands them"
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Mostly it's the Eastern German people (escpecially from Saxonia) that get the subtitles.
The good thing about pessimism is, that you are always either right or pleasently surprised.
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That's what Hitler would have said.
Therefore I lose.
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"We" in the Netherlands don't even have a common religion or culture, and this place is tiny.
There's The West (includes the middle), which is generally civilized. The East, which is mostly empty except for some pseudo-Germans. The South which is somehow Catholic unlike the rest of the country - they refuse to pronounce their G's correctly, and they vote for Wilders. The North, divided between separatists (with their own language and culture, stuck a century in the past) and communists (but most of them are students).
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This Angela Merkel[^]?
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Das is nicht gut! [no, I can't speak German either]
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Old but quite good.
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5
year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 persent shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
And zen ve vil tak over ze world!
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