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It's not family. It's a friend of my sister's, and I had never met her before she called me. That's the repeating pattern - I get introduced (without asking or being asked) to people whenever they have computer troubles.
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dandy72 wrote: It's a friend of my sister's,
You really want to lose an open opportunity?
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An "opportunity" to hook up with someone who had to be talked out of buying a used computer because that's all she can afford? Yeah, that sounds like a diamond in the rough...
Worse still: I'm 46. She's retired.
modified 6-Jan-19 16:38pm.
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dandy72 wrote: We went to Wal-mart on the last Friday before Christmas (December 18th) and I found her something semi-decent. Since she didn't have time on that day to have me set it up at her place, I brought it back with me to complete as much as I could, but told her I would still need to come over to set it up with her wireless connection (she's at the level where she couldn't do that herself), configure her email, set up her printer, etc--an afternoon or evening at the most.
Those damn estimates!
You're being helpfull and kind; I usually tell them to buy the cheapest new PC they can find 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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well,
you could format the C drive, drop it off to her and tell her she needs to go back to Walmart and return it as broken... less than 2 mins to provide those instructions
or:
part 1: explaining to her what the wireless router is, where it may be so you can find get the password/key printed on it, setting up the wifi password, assuring her no one is spying (yet).
part 2: how to turn on the laptop, the battery icon and how to plug in the power,
part 3: how to open the email, what email is, what an email address is, what "e" is,... how to read the messages, how to avoid scams, how to reply or delete, how to send the reply,
part 4: how to open the browser, what is a browser, what is a url, what is the internet, that google won't turn on her camera and look at her but others might, what a webcam is, what a web is
.... and about 7 hours later how to shut it down.
And then she will want to try it again before you go to make sure she got it all.
If lucky you should make it back in time for a shower before heading off to work.
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That first option won't buy me much: She'll get it exchanged for another, and then I'm going to have to start all over again (which will include everything else from your second option by the time everything is said and done).
Or are you suggesting I only do that first part, and only that?
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dandy72 wrote: Or are you suggesting I only do that first part, and only that?
yup, option 1
then get "too busy"
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I can sympathize, having in-laws who regularly need help.  At least they aren't local, so I usually put them off until I have the time for a remote.
If I were in your shoes, I'd go ahead and put a free remote client on her system that can be easily connected. I'd also do as you are suggesting, delivering it today and at least getting wireless and email setup. (hopefully, she knows her passwords!) Good luck!
dandy72 wrote: not respecting the value I place on my time
Yeah, those in-laws I mentioned are retired, and seem to have no qualms about calling me in the middle of a work day to commiserate or ask for help. According to him, he knows I'm usually busy, and is doing me a favor by interrupting me so I can have a break. While I'm ranting, he's the kind of guy who will not be ignored...if I don't answer, he will sometimes leave a stupid voicemail like 'hey it's me...call me' that I have to take the time to remove. If something is really bothering him he will just continue to call until I finally give in.
The point is, there are a lot of selfish people out there who will take as much of your time as you will allow. You were nice to let her set the schedule but in hindsight probably would have been better off setting a date for delivery/setup.
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Quote: I'd go ahead and put a free remote client on her system that can be easily connected
I have a cousin who had come to count on that to ping me any time of the day, since everything's "a quick fix and you don't even need to get out of the house". I eventually removed it and told him it was discontinued, and nobody's ever made a good replacement.
kmoorevs wrote: According to him, he knows I'm usually busy, and is doing me a favor by interrupting me so I can have a break
Wow. That would get a phone slammed down pretty hard on my end. I take my breaks on my own terms, thank-you-very-much.
I always tell people who know I'm working from home to consider that, if I was working in an office, would they call me there during office hours, or would they wait until they knew I'm back home. Those who have any sort of common sense at least get that.
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Mycroft Holmes wrote: And what is wrong with retired ladies, I sleep with one every night
By "retired", I really did mean "not in the same age group".
I mean, would you get with women who are significantly younger than...oh, wait. That example doesn't work here.
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I can't help helping other people, being relatives or not. There is always a reward to it one day or another.
Yes it is my time, which is of course valuable, but I have no other talent which I can help people with, so let it be "the computer guy in the area". My part to society.
I used to react as you did or wanted to, but this does not lead anywhere good. Even if I am being "overused" by some people, I can live with it.
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Rage wrote: I have no other talent which I can help people with
Same here, so in principle, I'm ok with doing what I do best for people and they do what they do best for me...
But unfortunately, the people who need computer help are often equally even more incompetent than I am and have nothing to offer in return - 'cept maybe coffee and cake, which I don't really need...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
modified 7-Jan-19 5:44am.
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I won't get involved - even for pay - as then you are permanently on call for their problems.
If you were a store, you'd say "out of warranty" and charge them some more and they'd not think twice. But you're not a store and you are thereby indentured to them for life.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Exactly.
If I start charging for "real" money (in the sense of making it worth my time), then I put myself on the hook for making sure things keep running. If I don't...then I might be able to eventually guilt someone for something in return. But some really don't.
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When asked for recommendations, I usually explain that I work on professional equipment designed for a very different job to a domestic user. I say it's a bit like asking an F1 racing driver for advice on a budget runabout, or a long-distance trucker advice on which city car to buy.
If pressed I explain further that I just program the things. You wouldn't ask an aircraft technician to fly your 747.
Even if they don't "get" the comparison, they usually get that you're just not that keen on helping with their particular predicament. If all else fails I just tell them they couldn't afford my fees.
That generally works though in true emergencies I have been known to save the day, as I'm sure we all have.
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DerekTP123 wrote: Even if they don't "get" the comparison, they usually get that you're just not that keen on helping with their particular predicament. If all else fails I just tell them they couldn't afford my fees.
I'm man enough to admit I perhaps don't have the balls to word it that way.
I do tell people they're getting help from someone who's been earning a living writing software for over two decades, and not just the guy from Best Buy. I just can't bring myself to charge for it.
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Nope. If you have her address just ship it to her instead of dropping it off.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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I spent well over a decade being the go to computer guy in my circle of family and friends until I finally had enough and just flat out refused requests for help, instead providing guidance for obtaining help from professional services. Too much of my personal time spent without anything in return, but frankly that was mostly because I'm a very self-sufficient person, whether it's computer repairs, home repairs, car repairs, even just cooking. I do all that and more myself. More than a decade later, I don't regret that decision one bit.
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I also stopped helping people with computers. I had several bad instances but I eventually lost a friend because his dad expected me to be the continuous computer support for his computer and he lived 2 hours away.
It's just not worth it. I just say I have an hourly rate and there is a minimum, even for me to look at it, and that sends most people the other way.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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That'd be a dick move. Brand new laptop, no telling how long it'd stay outdoors (it's well below freezing point around here these days), plus I'd end up having to pay for that shipping.
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I shut-down my family’s access to my 'computer guy' abilities when I was about your age (10 years ago). For me, it came-down to basic human consideration (or lack thereof).
I had a strong desire to be kind, help, and do so without expecting anything in return. What I accomplished was to communicate that I exist to help them with their computer problems... Any problem, any time, regardless of what was happening in my life. I was expected to accommodate them without cognition (apparently by either of us) that I too needed basic consideration.
I didn’t realize that I did have a price: Consideration for me, and my need for them to attempt to learn (however much they were capable) to fend for themselves… Yet, they always wanted me to bring them a "fish", and I needed to see them desire to learn to fish themselves, even if they could only catch a bluegill, and I always brought them tuna steaks.
I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked.
It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
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cmkrnl wrote: I resigned when I literally was told that I was supposed to help them whenever they asked.
It is up to each of us to decide how much we allow others to disrespect our time. I found my limit. I recommend dealing with it effectively before it can harm you & your relations.
My sister pushed me over that limit when I asked her to sit and watch how I fixed a problem she kept running across a few years ago. She insisted I just fix it again whenever it happened and refused to try to sit and learn (and yes, it's the same sister who gave my name to that friend of hers).
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As the "computer guy" I got in the habit of telling people to bring their computer to my house to fix it. You'd be surprised how lazy people are in that they can't even be bothered to drop a computer off to be repaired for free. Got me out of 98% of requested repairs. 
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That much is a given nowadays, especially for complete strangers. Moreso when we're talking about a laptop. What I can't get out of is if they're incapable of setting up their wifi connection or printer or something like that...
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