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I've read a story - be it true or not, that someone once got a call like that, but he was running Linux and was jerking the guy who called him around for about 30 minutes until the caller was so angry that he hung up. I have a spare Linux VM since then, just in case anyone calls me.
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I get these calls from time to time. Once when told it was the computer I was using I responded "[REDACTED] me! I didn't know my speccy was connected to the net!"
veni bibi saltavi
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I could never work as a scam artist. Would have started laughing too hard at a response like that. 
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Used to do the very thing to very same people - plus any number of their friends working for other scamish things. From my point of view, any business that does cold-call telemarketing is a scammer since the practice is illegal - they've already shown they've no respect for the law. Some now even call cell-phones, breaking yet another law.
One bit of prose you may add - very effective for male callers - is to note that they eat rice with their mothers ... (monthly event) on it. A Korean curse I learned many years ago. Generally, it's shocking enough to halt their dialog (it's rather novel and graphic).
Changed my tact: I now answer the phone to unknown callers with 'Yuh', and if a live person answers I speak only German. They're desperate for me to switch to English or Spanish - get frustrated (quite amusing) and hang up. I've gotten fewer call-backs.
Graphically disgusting, however, is ever so much fun.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Not effective enough. I could by some chance be that the caller also speaks German. You should try using Klingon instead... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I didn't say I was speaking politely.
But as for the Klingon - I don't speak such words - and there's also the worry that (aside from the caller having no life and also speaking Klingon) they'd recognize the language and put me down on the "hopeless nerd" list and I'd get calls from dating services.
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Your tactic is quite similar to mine, but I can laugh during the call:
when the number is unknown I let my 4 years old daughter to answer, after having set the speaker phone... one of her most favorite nonsense sentences is "Chicken's fife" (as the instrument); the most amusing part is to listen to the guy on the line trying to convince her to give the phone to her daddy or mummy whilst she introduce in the conversation always new "sentences" ... 
'Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.'
Benny Hill
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I used to have a lot of fun with these callers..
"Oh really? You can see my computer from there? Wow, amazing... Windows? Yes, I have windows ME; it's wonderful, it does everything for me. I was telling my aunt she should get a copy, these new versions are no good, apparently you can get viruses from then and I haven't had my flu shots yet. My aunt thought that was unlikely, what do you think? My computer name? I call it The Electro-Mechanical Wonderbar Machine, isn't that a great name?"
...I can go on like that for a loooong time, and have! If you keep talking they can't get a word in edge-ways.
More recently when they say "your computer has a problem", I reply, "Which one has the problem?" ...and they hang up.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I've had several calls from the likes of him and I must say it is a lot of fun.
Come to think of it I'm about due it's been quite a while.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.2 Beta tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
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Cha-cha? (3,3,3)
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
modified 2-Mar-16 5:53am.
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Cha-Cha-Cha?
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Er ... no! 
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Tea for two?
veni bibi saltavi
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Tea for two, it is!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Cha-cha goes one, two, one-two-three with the second part a 2 beat triplet. See, I knew watching Dancing With The Stars would come in handy one day! 
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Tip the hoe ?
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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What is that? Some kind of European agricultural sport?
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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i see you have no dirty mind
Rules for the FOSW ![ ^]
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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...it would appear.
All I get is "(redirecting)" and a "working" circle on the tab. (And I'm not the only one, either)
Fortunately, it's still fine in it's "People" incarnation on my tablet...
Is it working for you lot?
And the bad news is that Google Calendar is fine, and that means I still have to go to the damn dentist...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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The number you're looking for is 0800-baah-baah
veni bibi saltavi
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Wow! Flossie got a freefone number?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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That was rather low. A real sheapo if ask me.
Life is too shor
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Google contacts? Is that another Google service I've never heard of before, and they're about to shut down?
(although it sounds like they may already have)
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