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I'd love to interview you with our HR department. Preferably during Wimbledon fortnight.
HR: Where do you see yourself in three years?
MM: How the Faaark would I know!? I'm not an elephanting psychic!
HR: Right, well thanks. erm... What are your strengths and weaknesses?
MM: Well, I can drink youse bastards under the table, any day of the faaarkin' week. Weaknesses? You callin' me a girly, love?
HR: Ha ha.. ha. Erm. Well. I, erm. Can you tell me about the time you dealt with conflict?
MM: There was this pooftah HR wanker asking stupid questions - punched 'im in the mouth... Hey! don't worry, love, I would't punch a girl... You *are* a girl, aren't you? with norgs like that I figured you must be - but with the 'tash it could go either way.
HR: <exit crying="">
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Hilarious! Just have one question, though:
What the hell is
Maxxx wrote: 'tash
???
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Mustache
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Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Maxxx wrote: 'tash
I think you'd find one on a mouse
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Mustache?
Only a guess, though...
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HR should play no part in interviews.
If you are recruiting people with a certain amount of experience then you can more or less assume they can do the job from looking at their CV, and confirm it with a quick informal chat.
All that then matters is do you want them working with you, do they want to work with you. And of course your team.
I recently had an interview where I was given a 5 page technical exam and half an hour to do it. I spent half an hour on my phone then left when they came back to mark it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I did a similar thing when, after an interview that started late, turned into two interviews, then they asked me to stay and do one of them 'psych' test things - while they all went home as it was after 5:30pm
I was told 'no test no job'
So grabbed the paper, marked all the answers at random (multiple choice) and left 3 minutes later.
The Psych results were the best they'd ever had- and I got the job.
should have been a warning, though - it was a sh*t job. Left 3 months later.
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Maxxx wrote: ritualistic disemboweling of a sheep on the boardroom table!
I would have thought that that would be classed as Normal for New Zealand.
veni bibi saltavi
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New bloody Zealand? We're not employing bloody Kiwis, mate!
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It's standard practice at GriffInc 
veni bibi saltavi
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I reckon the Griffter would be a good boss - just never, ever take in Lamb sandwiches - or fee him after midnight.
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bvgger ! I was going to send to my cv, too....
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Don't you mean "bigger"? 
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you've been peeking huh ?
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I believe it's called "Beijing" these days. And you missed the preposition. 
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So many fails in one post (and they're not yours!)
Interview is about exploring someones knowledge and whether they fit in the company / team - you can't script that.
How the hell do HR think you are going to get a good fit for the team if the interviewee is not allowed to talk to them?
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GStrad wrote: How the hell do HR think
I see your mistake
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We never used to do the "meet the team" and some of the people we hired were horrible.
One was a Morris dancing fan, who used to show pictures of his latest dances etc and wore sandals to work with white socks.
another used to get annoyed when we used to take the lord name in vain.
But since we started the this is the team and this is the project were working on we have had better success.
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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Hey! There's nothing wrong with Morris Dancing *
*of course there is - just posting that in case my HR dept. read this and insist on employing at least one lesbian dwarf Morris Dancer in the name of equality
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I'll try anything once ... except incest and Morris Dancing.
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I did Morris Dancing at primary school.
The teacher was accordion player for the local troop and used to get her husband to come in and make us do it.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Sounds like you enjoyed every stick smashing part of it 
Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians.
Help end the violence EAT BACON
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HR: Where do you see yourself in three years?
Me: In your seat.
VP/Senior GM: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: <<same reply="">>
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You usually get down-voted by HR for answering that - it's a trite answer to a trite question.
I usually answer something like 'doing this job'. as most companies don't *really* want you to be ambitious - they want someone to do this role for as long as possible.
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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