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The guy in the 2015 reg Range Rover sport who, although stuck in traffic, positions his car 0.25 inches from the kerb so no cyclists can pass him...then makes a land grab for the box junction even though the lights are changing.
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The person who stops in the middle of the footpath to play with his phone.
The groups of people who gather in the middle of the footpath to have a natter.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity
RAH
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I don't take up more than one seat myself, but my opinion is: If people want to sit, all it takes is for them to open their mouthes and say so. If they can't do that, then I would assume that they are perfectly content standing up and don't want to sit, and in that case, there's no reason why the seat shouldn't be available for the bag...
Just my 5 cents.
People are getting way too incommunicative. I blame smartphones. It makes people completely socially inept. They can't be around other people in real life anymore, they can't talk to strangers, they can hardly sit next to strangers...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: If people want to sit, all it takes is for them to open their mouthes and say so. If they can't do that, then I would assume that they are perfectly content standing up and don't want to sit,
Or, we could be less selfish and more service oriented. True joy comes from serving others, not from serving ourselves.
Long live chivalry!!!
Johnny J. wrote: People are getting way too incommunicative. I blame smartphones. It makes people completely socially inept
Too true. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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RyanDev wrote: True joy comes from serving others, not from serving ourselves.
Is that what you're telling the wife? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list – I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed – who never would be missed!
[Your pet prejudices go here]
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as – What d’ye call him – Thing’em-bob, and likewise – Never-mind,
And ’St – ’st – ’st – and What’s-his-name, and also You-know-who –
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ’em be missed – they’d none of ’em be missed!
(The Mikado)
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Ah yes, the offensive post of the week.
Unbecoming of CodeProject.
BRAVO (slow clap and all that jazz)
I'd rather be phishing!
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added to the list 
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Traffic in metro cities of India so bad, due to uses of car for office timing.
We have some reason of traffic
The reasons for traffic:
1) Inferior feeling of people to travel in public transport.(middle class)
2) Huge population of India.
3) Unexpected growth rate.
4) Insufficient planning by local state Governments.
5) More R&D on transport.
etc.
And solution
1) More usage for public transport. (Kill the inferior feeling.)
Educate people that using bicycle and public transport is not inferior and using cars is not superior.
2) Control the population growth - actions already taken.
3) Town Planning
etc.
As individual peoples, we can choose first solution, even also need help of govt. to pay attestation on public transport and road quality.
I have the peoples they use car or bike unnecessary and creates crowed, and also blame to other and govt.
Manoj kumar choubey
Sr. Software Developer
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I don't know how many here are car enthusiast, but I've been working on this for 4 years now. I've been struggling to understand why when the car was new, I got great mileage and since 36K I don't.
I have a 2003 Ford Focus ZX5 with a ODB2 Computer with PCM and TCM, which I now realize is a Ford car with Mazda engine and auto trans. The car is paid for, and I don't have much desire to buy a new one with 6 computers. Perhaps a sport car instead. I don't want to hit a tree and have my car call the police on me.
I tried everything, oil weights, tire pressure, ATF fluids, spark plug gaps, cam timing, wheel alignments.
Finally I got 6 CEL codes, and had to replace a whole bunch of stuff, Ignition pack, spark plug wires, spark plugs, and then the coolant thermostat and coolant. Then 3 more sets of CEL codes appeared a month later, So I replaced the EGR valve, EGR solonoid and DFTP Sensor. While replacing the EGR stuff, I discovered a small pin size hole in the EGR tubing going to the intake manifold, so I replace the tubing and went on a road trip to Las Vegas. I did do a internal cleaning as well using using Berrymans chem tool.
http://www.amazon.com/Berryman-2610-Chemtool-Combustion-Cleaning/dp/B0002KKIM8/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1444770290&sr=8-7&keywords=berryman+chemtool[^]
Interesting, my city mileage went from 15 to 22. Highway went from 27 to 34 mpg, and it totally changed the way the car drives, much more power and snappy. Going up the mountains across the desert was no problem, and transmission did not have to downshift at all.
So I did some research on what exactly does the EGR system do. It takes your output from the combustion chamber only when driving at a steady speed, lets say 40 mph on the street, and injects it back into the intake manifold. This gas still contains unburn fuel and carbon, which acts as gasoline when recycled back through. That's one of the reasons that highway driving gets better gas mileage than city. When you accelerate and decelerate, the EGR system is inactive. So the PCM computer monitors output and speed, and cycles the EGR valve open and close, and works with the TCM to control the transmission, because the transmission is pretty much electronic.
Anyways, my trip to Vegas is 272 miles, and I only consumed 8 gallons of gas this time, compared to 11.5 the trip before, and 10.5 before that. The last trip was the original mileage I got when the car was brand new.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
The metaphorical solid rear-end expulsions have impacted the metaphorical motorized bladed rotating air movement mechanism.
Do questions with multiple question marks annoy you???
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jkirkerx wrote: but I've been working on this for 4 years now
Wow, that level of tenacity I do not possess. Kudos to you.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Guys with your skills are now needed by Volkswagen to fix up their mess. 
Press F1 for help or google it.
Greetings from Germany
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What? His software engineering skills?
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I live in California, we had to smog test our cars every 2 years since 1976, but now with the new OBD2 cars, we don't have to smog them anymore.
I thought what VW did was brilliant from a consumer point of view. But now the cars are illegal in California.
Thanks for the compliment, hope it helps someone.
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Almost without exception if they were dead, I laughed, if they were living, meh. I think comedy was so much better in days of yore.
Brent
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Or maybe you're just a morbid f***er who likes the fact that they are dead? 
Just kidding of course... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Would this be a bad time to tell you that they seriously messed up the order and attributed all the jokes to the wrong people then?
Nah, not really, but I very much doubt you'd have had the same correlation if you didn't see the attributions until the end of the list!
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"'A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.
Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.'"
Bill Murray (September 21 1950-)
AWESOME
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Followed the link, read the first one, closed the window.
There's no way I'm gonna load 100 different pages just in case there's something that's not as dated.
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Well, you could just click the View All button. Or carry on being a curmudgeonly old git. Choices, choices... 
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