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And the dialog should be:
Ambiguous key press detected! _ [] X
Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.
[ABORT] [RETRY] [CANCEL]If you can get an icon with "Clippy" on it, so much the better.
Needless to say, all buttons should bring up a dialog saying "Are you sure?" and with the buttons [PREVIOUS] & [RESTART WINDOWS] only.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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And make sure the buttons come up in random order so that the user has to read them every time before clicking it.
OriginalGriff wrote: Windows has detected that you pressed the "4" key when you probably
needed a "3". If you didn't not want a "3" press "Yes". If you wanted
a "4", press "OK". Otherwise please wait and you will be put through
to an operator.
[ABORT] [RETRY] [CANCEL]
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So, that's why windows is the way it is. It's because of the user, then even Ubuntu will be "sh*t" because of the user. Hypothesis proved. Theorem: users will make any system became sh*t, replace them with IAs and everything will be good.
Disclaimer, this post is a joke, I don't think Windows is a bad software, only Ubuntu, but then Vista was bad too, and it was allowed to exist.
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I hope my boss doesn't see this... you're more qualified for my job than I.
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True Story:
User complains F3 does not work in our program, nor does Fx in general.
She is offsite. Nobody else at the company is complaining (which we tell her).
During an onsite visit, WEEKS later. I see the user, and I assume the problem is fixed.
She calls out to me, and proceeds to show me:
1) She has a keyboard drawer
2) The extra wide keyboard does not fit very well
3) She presses, F then 3 and it does not work
At which time, I pull the keyboard out further, and look at the top row of keys.
She looks at me and says: "Do you think it would work if I pressed the one labelled F3?"
I told her I wasnt sure, but she should try it. And it WORKED! I pretended to be amazed with her.
The owner of the company said "I know you will tell this story, just PLEASE never mention my company name!"
OMG, she did not know the keyboard had a row of keys on the top.
Worse, there were no less than 3 computers within 10 feet of her, and others using the program.
She NEVER ASKED anyone how they get it to work.
I remember actually drinking that night. Laughing and Drinking. A little crying for humanity mixed in...
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From my younger tech support days:
We have our customer who runs all his business needs on a thin client. And they start complaining about network issues, and "lag" and connection hanging.
We have 1st tech go in, troubleshoot the network, do performance metrics on the server, spending 4 days, finding nothing. Problem goes away.
Next week, same call, we go there, troubleshoot the network, analyze logs, replace a switch.. for the sake of it.. still find nothing, her thin client works as expected. And the very next day, we get the call again. We drive there, and this time, go to her and ask her, please show us how it's not working. And, to her dismay.. everything works.. and tells us we "scarred the machine into working". So we decided to wait around until lunch, meantime she continued to work. And then it happened right before deciding to go. She calls us in victorious, see.. I wasn't lying..
She presses keys, they sometimes type, sometimes lag, mouse was skipping and so on. And then I noticed the keyboard.. it was wireless. I asked her, when was the last time you replaced the batteries on this thing? And she giggles.. I didn't know it had batteries.. I thought it just worked.
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Switch the keys on the keyboard. It solved the original problem, although it created another one. 
Signature construction in progress. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Damn you have the perfect signature - CBadger
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11, 23, 58, 13 ...
EDIT: Wow, nobody caught it? I'm disappointed in you guys...
modified 31-Oct-14 10:31am.
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hut..hut...hike!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
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Don't forget to take away the number you first thought of.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Counting binary on your fingers again? You could always throw in 260 for good measure.
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I've got a funny feeling that the user has to press the 4 key to select an option that reads "3".
These stupid mortals just don't understand zero-based lists.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Remember than 1 and 4 are adjacent on a numeric keypad, but 3 ia waaaayyy over there. 
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Seriously - this is a real user problem?
and this person probably drives too.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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No, this wasn't the actual problem.
The real problem was that the user couldn't understand why deleting a record caused it to no longer show up on reports.
I went with the 3/4 problem because I didn't think anyone would believe the actual problem.
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You know, you just can't make this stuff up.
Years ago, my Dad worked at IBM. Every year he was on the team to come up with the division budget. At home, we just hid during that month. He got so fed up with the process that he wrote a program Algol or apl or something to act as a rudimentary spreadsheet - it let everyone punch in their groups numbers and rolled them all up.
Life was good, it worked.
First user.... stuck.... calls my dad:
User: "Hey Chuck, your program doesn't work."
Dad: "Okay, what's it doing?"
User: "Nothing, it just sits there."
Dad: "What's on your screen?" <-- before the days of PCs
User: "It's asked for my username, I typed it, but now it's just sitting there."
Dad: "Hmmm, oh, I know what's wrong... press return."
User: "Hey! That fixed it."
And this was at IBM.....
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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I hate to be a spoil sport, but often something needs to be deleted for operational purposes, but the history of its existence needs to be kept for reports of past activity. There are a number of ways to handle this, such as marking the record for deletion using a flag for that purpose, but not really deleting the record. Then any queries for currently active records need to take the delete flag into consideration. Or you could maintain a separate history table for reports, copying the record into it before deleting it from the active table.
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All deleted records are stored in a deleted records table.
What was odd is she wanted deleted records to appear in totals - which makes no sense.
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It makes sense if, for example, each record is a customer request, and she wants to report to her superiors how many customer requests she entered, even though she may have subsequently deleted one of them.
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Yes, I'm sure you could fabricate at least a dozen reasons why a deleted record should appear on a hypothetical report - and they'd all be valid reasons. However, in this case it made no sense and the person is objectively stupid.
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For the sake of humanity, please throw this user in front of a bus moving at high speed.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I'm too old to move at high speed anymore. 
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