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Oh... I see the problem. You all just have one computer you do everything on. No wonder everyone has so many problems with Windows.
Only half joking.
In mumbly-mumbly years of doing this here computer stuff, I have never once had to do any of the things you mentioned.
Everything I use is either a shortcut on the desktop (kinda like Win8, come to think of it), or (these days) on the task bar a the bottom (which could have easily been shortcuts, anyway).
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I've mapped nearly everything I use regularly to hotkeys. I don't use the start menu often but when I do it's when even the Windows 8 start screen can't help me anymore
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There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don’t.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.
or
I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.
[Edited]
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets.
He sees a monkey with a price of $5000 and goes to the merchant to ask for details.
Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money?
Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games.
Good monkey, it’s worth the money.
He goes and finds another monkey with a price of $10 000 and again he will ask the merchant.
What does this monkey know?
It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad.
Nice, even I don’t know those things.
On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price $20 000.
The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details.
And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?
I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!
Tell us a joke if you think you can do better otherwise all negative comments are NULL and VOID
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modified 11-Sep-13 6:07am.
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Old, Old, Old.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Another old 'un that has grown whiskers.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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When does the joke turn up?
I'd hate to miss it.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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This post is an excellent reason for reintroducing down voting in the lounge...I would be tempted to join in on the mass points-smacking you should receive for this if they did.
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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Send him to the naughty step!
speramus in juniperus
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I think the website equivalent is The Naughty Site[^]
A few hours there should persuade him!
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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Nagy Vilmos wrote:
Send him to the naughty step! |
Naughty step?
It must be terrible being a poor dolite.
I could afford a naughty chair.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Oooo don't give up the day job.
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CBadger wrote: There are only 10 types of people in the world:
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 0/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 1/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 2/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 4/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 5/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 6/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 7/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 8/100
Those who have heard the joke before and rate it 9/100
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That is how long it took from posting my advert for my car on Gumtree to the first phone call.
I have a man coming at 1.00pm to look it over.
Tonight I pick up my new car, a Jag!
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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I think you'll find the correct name is "Sajaginnit"
speramus in juniperus
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I think you'll find the correct name is "Tata"
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Dalek Dave wrote: Tonight I pick up my new car, a Jag!
Oh dear. Which one are you getting? Bearing in mind that I had nothing but trouble with my XK - ended up returning it within 6 weeks.
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One of these[^]
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Yours is sexier!
A few years ago I used to pootle about in one of These[^]
It was a 6.0L V12 and did about 7mpg.
But by god it was wonderful.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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When it's broken down at the office because of glitches in the EMS, trust me, it's not sexy.
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Is this[^] your old one?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Last night we had breaded pork with stuffed peppers for dinner. The peppers were a simple Hungarian variety called Alma Paprika and every time I use them I forget - ALMA does indeed mean apple, but in this case it refers to the peppers' small size and shape, and not that it is sweet.
Filia Maximus took a nibble and refused it, Minimus ate half and then called a Scotty0. Mrs Wife was fine with two but wanted no more. The Vilmos was thus left with his two plus another 13/4 to eat. I did. They were good.
Today they are "not so good" going out. Remember guys, Capsicum can burn both ways.
0 The engines canna take it!
speramus in juniperus
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Clever tactics.
Capsicum, alas, can continue to burn long after the initial assault on the taste buds has ended.
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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They are actually a nice pepper, just a tad hot. Hotter than jalapenos I know that.
speramus in juniperus
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We used to keep a spare roll in the freezer for just such occasions.
Years ago, we had a cat called "Microwave the cat in orange sauce" - don't ask, it's a long story - and I brought home a bag of small, very hot chillies from the Chinese Supermarket and spread them out to dry on a tray.
Micro stole one, and proceeded to eat it (he was that kind of cat). For the next hour, he walked round the house gulping frantically, and with his eyes wide and bulging...
But that wasn't the "good bit", oh no. It took him four visits and 48 hours to use the litter tray. Each time he would enter, assume the position, and begin. Only for his legs to start shaking, a "mweeeeeep!" noise to be emitted from the front end and an immediate cessation of efforts...
The weird thing was he got a taste for them, and a year later he would steal them happily, and even eat the Scotch Bonnets directly off the bush...
This message is manufactured from fully recyclable noughts and ones. To recycle this message, please separate into two tidy piles, and take them to your nearest local recycling centre.
Please note that in some areas noughts are always replaced with zeros by law, and many facilities cannot recycle zeroes - in this case, please bury them in your back garden and water frequently.
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