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I'm super friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet - I just don't know why...
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Could it B that you don't C that it's a L of A nice letter?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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You should like aleph the letters.
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Poor little Johnny is bursting for the loo and asks his teacher if he can be excused from class:
"Miss! Miss! I really need the bathroom!"
"Oh come on Johnny, it's only a few minutes until the bell goes, surely you can wait."
"But I'm bursting, Miss! I really, really have to go!"
"Very well, I'll let you go providing you can recite the alphabet to me."
"Okay. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z"
"That's close, Johnny, but not quite right. There was a letter missing. Where's your "P?""
"It's running down my left leg thanks to you and your constant bloody delays!"
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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"Can I have a P, please Bob?"
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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no wonder you are having problems with CAD, you're missing a whole dimension.
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OIC, U81
Technician
1. A person that fixes stuff you can't.
2. One who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge.
JaxCoder.com
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Though not in need of a job change, I just sent some feelers in the online world. One Recruiter contacted me about an opportunity which was good but said It involves some coding demonstration , which was fine with me. So he wanted to know what I need to do a coding so he can arrange it in his office. I mentioned that would prefer Keyboard (English and not German), mouse and big monitor along with internet connection.
He asked the purpose of Internet, and said need to Google the syntax or whatever. He replied saying googling for syntax or any reference is not acceptable for Engineer/Developers. Also Mentioned that the Company wont accept it as a legit test.
I directly approach the company after figuring out and I got the coding package with requirements and instructions. Interesting part is that I am allowed to do from home and use any resources like books, internet, opensource code etc. Only thing they had mentioned is that If I am using Code/Module from external source , I should cite its source.
The footer in the instruction has this quote 
"The standard library saves programmers from having to reinvent the wheel" - Bjarne Stroustrup
cheers,
Super
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Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
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You know what?
I simply can't remember the exact syntax for a CROSS APPLY query. It's been a good few months since I used one but that's no excuse.
I am, quite simply, a complete failure as a software developer and I need a new career rapidly, one that doesn't require any talent, knowledge or ability.
Would any of you guys like to sign up to my soon-to-be-founded IT recruitment agency?
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain
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PeejayAdams wrote: Would any of you guys like to sign up to my soon-to-be-founded IT recruitment agency?
I am Ready. Please ask your recruiter to send me an email
cheers,
Super
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Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
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PeejayAdams wrote: need a new career rapidly, one that doesn't require any talent, knowledge or ability
Management? Sounds like a great deal! Sign me up.
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Become a recruiter, all you need to do is read the microsoft announcements (just the headings) and then you have your short listing criteria. (Note: even if it's pre-release announcements)
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When I was looking for a job and if recruiter started talking to me about programming, I will hang up the phone. They read a script and if your response is not in accordance, you are wrong. This is idiotic. Also, why would I go to recruiter's office for a job else where?
Due to experiences like these, I only apply directly on company website or through their own LinkedIn page. While it does mean I need to register in million places, but it save me the hassle of replying to "What is polymorphism" type question to someone who only knows it from the definition given to him by his boss who in turn took it out of wikipedia.
I am so happy I am not in that boat anymore and probably wont be for long.
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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I still remember ages ago that I had to explain them that my expertise was "Visual C++: and just because "Visual Basic" has the term "visual" please don't assume it fits me and send me invitations and start changing their search phrase.
cheers,
Super
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Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
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True story:
.1
Q. So do you have experience with programming languages like .Net framework 3.5 and C-hash.net?
Me: What? [hangs up]
.2 (HR of a company; not recruiter)
Q. So you are making X. But maximum we can offer is y (where Y was X/2). Would you be still interested? And you will also need to relocate to this city.
Me: No. [Hangs up]
"It is easy to decipher extraterrestrial signals after deciphering Javascript and VB6 themselves.", ISanti[ ^]
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lw@zi wrote: True story:
Two great stories! Thanks for sharing. So funny, I'm still laughing.
~George Bernard Shaw “When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.”
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Not long ago, I took a C++ test on LinkedIn at 2 in the morning for fun, cause I couldn't sleep. Having a 5 year gap since working in C++, in between I only did a test for another job opportunity, I was sure I was gonna fail. Miraculously passed, added it to my profile. The very next day, was contacted by a recruiter asking if I wanted a job for Back-end Software Engineer. "Did you even check out my profile? I have 4 years' working in Android App Development.", "Oh... Well I think we are also looking for an Android position." Times when you want to smash your own head into a wall.
I think they just search for the skills they think relate with the job and send you a pre-prepared message. Suffice it to say, I've learned to passively ignore these messages. And by ignore I mean politely decline their offer.
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lw@zi wrote: "What is polymorphism"
I've been asked this question so many damn times! A question that non-technical types ask to see if they are hiring a college Freshman so they can make a low-ball offer?
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FTFY
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back in the day...i used to give the candidate a paper (since it became a meme on the net)
Print every number between 1 and 100, However for numbers that are multiples of 3 print "Fizz" and for numbers that are multiples of five print "Buzz." For numbers that are multiples of both 3 and 5 print "FizzBuzz".
and later if anyone who actually got the job could understand the complicated sh*t like why objects needed version control and why the code was so f***ed up... they would just walk out... else the management would think they are just staring at the screen all day doing nothing when they embark on a project and later fire them to save some money and scrap the project.. its like dilbert...
Caveat Emptor.
"Progress doesn't come from early risers – progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things." Lazarus Long
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abmv wrote: Print every number between 1 and 100, However for numbers that are multiples of 3 print "Fizz" and for numbers that are multiples of five print "Buzz." For numbers that are multiples of both 3 and 5 print "FizzBuzz".
I've written a version of that as a batch file.
Software Zen: delete this;
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I think the problem is that recruiters are expected to filter candidates. If they let too many unqualified ones through the screening process, they catch flak for wasting the company's time. So they end up rejecting qualified ones, in which case nobody knows.
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There is some truth to this. Companies handing recruiters boilerplate job descriptions and candidates who do everything they can to fill up 7 pages of buzzwords and listing every piece of tech they may have ever come across or had to read about in their past jobs. What could possibly go wrong?!
I love the pre-screening rating questionaires.. "On a scale of 1 to 5 how familiar are you with...?" Pretty good chance I'm "familiar" with just about all of these technologies/concepts listed by nature of the industry. Have I actually used or know how to apply said technology or concept??? That's not what was asked. 
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You too eh?
super wrote: He replied saying googling for syntax or any reference is not acceptable for Engineer/Developers.
If he sees such as cheating, is using Intellisense in the IDE allowed, or should you turn that off too? 
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
"If you just follow the bacon Eddy, wherever it leads you, then you won't have to think about politics." -- Some Bell.
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