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Dan Neely wrote: If you can explain to me how to identify a joke I've read before without starting to read it...
That's easy.
If it's posted in the CP Lounge...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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How far into your ear does a pimple have to be for re-classification as a brain tumor?
This thing hurts!
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Depends - is it a European pimple or an African non-migratory pimple?
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Keith Barrow wrote: Depends - is it a European pimple or an African non-migratory pimple?
In the days before the optical/laser mice, there was a difference between American and European mouse balls. The following is dated 1991 (and if it isn't true, it certainly is a great lie):
This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest of us find it rather funny.
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit)
Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.
To re-order, specify one of the following:
P/N 33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls
P/N 33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls
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Given the fact I'm not a native english speaker... I've read pineapple, therefore you can imagine my surprise... 
Now the best part of your post is that I've learnt a new word... 
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Joan Murt wrote: Now the best part of your post is that I've learnt a new word.
learned.
Two new words now. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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They taught me to use learnt as it is more "british" (and in our schools they teach british English):
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/learnt-vs-learned[^]
Anyway I've reached a point in which when I write or speak I do it naturally and learning to improve/change ways is more difficult than before... so probably I'll continue using learnt... but yes, nice to know this 
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Joan Murt wrote: it is more "british"
Who in the world wants to be more British? There's a reason we left that place and never looked back.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Uh oh - trolling alert...
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RyanDev wrote: and never looked back
Except to fart in their general direction.
You'll never get very far if all you do is follow instructions.
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There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Ensure you point your asses in the right direction... a small error can be terrible for me... 
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Well, this is the first I've learned of learnt.
If it weren't
for learnt,
then, of a misspell, I'd be burnt.
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Joan Murt wrote: They taught me to use learnt as it is more "british"
That's a load of cobblers, that is.
The gig's up: we know it's because "learnt" comes from the Germanic languages.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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English is a Germanic language
=========================================================
I'm an optoholic - my glass is always half full of vodka.
=========================================================
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Chris Quinn wrote: English is a Germanic language, except for its verb inflection, sentence construction, noun case, preposition usage, etc, etc, etc.
Fixed that for you.
The influences of Germanic languages (mainly West Saxon and Jute) were hugely overrun by the invasions of the Romans, etc. There's very little Germanic left in English; people just don't want to call it a Latin language.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Learnt is definitely not wrong, if that's what you're trying to imply. In English English it's how everyone would say and write it, pretty much.
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BobJanova wrote: In English English it's how everyone would say and write it, pretty much.
So, it is wrong then. 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Round these parts it's pronounced learnt.
Atlanta Georgia.
Leastways by the people who were raised here.
We also have ink pens and straight pins because both pen and pin are pronounced the same way.
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Ya, Atlanta also has "buggy" instead of "shopping cart." And it has paved cattle trails they call roads.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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It's actually Boston with the paved cattle trails. And a lot more weird pronunciations.
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stgagnon wrote: It's actually Boston with the paved cattle trails.
Boston does too? Crazy.
stgagnon wrote: And a lot more weird pronunciations.
Yes, it's hard not to smile when you hear one of them talking.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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