Declare @XML XML
Set @XML ='
<row>
<ABC>
<DEF>1</DEF>
</ABC>
</row>
<row>
<ABC>
<DEF>0</DEF>
</ABC>
</row>'
SELECT line.DEF.value('ABC[1]', 'Int') as ABC
FROM @XML.nodes('row') AS line(DEF)
SET @XML.modify('delete //row/ABC/DEF [.=''0'']')
SELECT line.DEF.value('ABC[1]', 'Int') as ABC
FROM @XML.nodes('row') AS line(DEF)