You have to expose a public interface to the object you are interested in. Usually this is done through static methods of a single object. For example, there is usually only one main application window and it can have a static Get() method that returns a pointer to itself. That pointer can then be used to access other members of the object. You can do something similar - give the object that contains the control a static Get() member that returns a pointer to itself and then you can access the control if it is a public member or there is a method that returns a pointer to it.
-edit-
Here's an example:
class MyWindow
{
public:
static MyWindow * Get() { return m_pThis; }
protected:
static MyWindow * m_pThis;
};
Now you can access a pointer to MyWindow from anywhere that includes MyWindow's header file. If your control is a public member then it is directly accessible. If not then you will need to provide an accesser method, like GetTheControl() or what ever.