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Hi everyone!
I've now managed to get a (somewhat intermittent and only 26k ) net connection established here in room 307 at the Mercure Hotel in Chonburi so while I've a little time this afternoon I thought it was time I said hello and thank you for all the moral support I received before embarking on my big adventure. I'm not getting time to track what's happening here (or anywhere else for that matter) so my apologies if I'm a little slow replying!
The big question of course is "How did it go?". Well I'm happy to say that the surgery (on the 14th) went so smoothly that Dr. Suporn completed it in 5 hours - which surprised even him! The staff at the clinic & hospital have all been brilliant (several I now consider to be close personal friends) and I've only had two causes for complaint - neither major, and both being dealt with. Neither affects me in particular, by the way.
I'm healing well and no longer in any significant pain, although I've learnt a fair bit about pain and painkillers (anyone tried morphine? ).
The atmosphere out here is fantastic, and I've met some new good friends - both at the clinic and other patients from around the world. Quite an adventure. I've also kept a very detailed diary which tells the story of my adventure here.
I hope it's not "too much information" for anyone - although the diary[^] is candid and detailed, I've restricted the pictures that bring it to life (with one exception at the beginning of the third page which I felt necessary for those following me - and it's not gruesome in any way) to ones unlikely to upset anyone or the organisation they work for.
It goes without saying that if you or your organisation are likely to find the content difficult, please don't read it. If you do then complain, I'll set my halberd on you...
Hugs to everyone. I've been thinking of you all during my adventure here.
Until I get back, khàwp khun khâ!
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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I'm quite frankly stunned.
After three weeks of what can only be described as sheer emotional torture, something's finally happened to swing things back entirely the other way. I'm not out of the woods yet, but this will most certainly help!
I originally made enquiries of the Suporn Clinic[^] about my surgery (combined Genital Reassignment Surgery and Facial Feminisation Surgery) in June, at which time they weren't yet scheduling for January 2004, when I was intending to have surgery. I'd already moved the date forwards once (from Spring, which I'd opted for in part to fit in with work) after realising I couldn't wait that long.
When the Clinic opened its scheduling at the end of August I was informed that they were no longer booking combined (GRS + FFS) procedures (for reasons I completely understand). However, that left me with a problem, as my company limits paid sick leave to 13 weeks per calendar year.
With my GRS booked for 21st January, I just couldn't see a way to fit in the FFS the same year...and the lack of certainly and doubt in my mind about what to do has only served to aggravate the problems of isolation and resultant depression I was already having at work (which were already bad enough, believe me).
By this Monday morning I was finally "with it" enough to write back to the clinic and inform them of the difficulties I was having. I also wrote an initial enquiry about FFS to Brian Musgrove in Manchester (a UK surgeon specialising in FFS), as a possible fallback.
I haven't had a reply from Musgrove yet but it's now rather academic, as yesterday morning I had an email from the Suporn Clinic informing me that a cancellation date might be available this year. A flurry of emails ensued, the end result of which is that as of yesterday evening my GRS has now been rebooked for 14th November!!!
Words aren't adequate here. I'm absolutely and totally stunned, and believe me if I had a bottle of champaigne handy right now there's be a party down here tonight for sure!
Incidentally, the date I had booked for GRS (21st January) is now the date of my FFS, so those who expected to bump into me in Thailand then still will...I'll just be a bit more post-op than I expected to be by the evening of 21st January...
8 weeks to go!
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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The thought had crossed my mind!
I'm taking my laptop with me with a Wi-Fi card (you never know!) but if all else fails the clinic provides a machine with internet access for use by patients, and there are internet cafes in Chonburi and Pattaya.
I won't be totally in hiding, although most of what I write will go to the TS support groups (there'll be way too much detail for CP!).
You'll certainly hear from me occasionally though, I promise you that.
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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As a rule, yes.
Having said that, there's always an exception if you look hard enough. I know of one girl who's a theatre nurse and had hers done under a local anaesthetic!! Apparently there was a student nurse in theatre whose only job was to hold a mirror so the patient could watch the surgeon working on her!!!
I couldn't do that, that's for certain.
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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Well initial recovery from GRS takes about 3-4 months, but the body takes about 2 years to adjust fully...especially when it comes to the brain remapping where nerve endings go!
In addition, for the first few months I'll have to spend about 4 hours a day doing "post-op maintenance" which will mean I'll have to be up at 5am in order to get it out of the way before heading off to work. That's rather daunting, but it's a small price to pay really...and it should ease off a bit by the summer.
I'll be out in Thailand for about a month (from 11th November to 12th December I believe) for the GRS op, then I'm flying back out on 18th January for my FFS.
I should be back in the UK for good in mid February, but I don't have to be back at work until the start of March.
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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Yesterday was a very sad day. Last night I heard the tragic news that Debbie Fox (one of the girls I met at Trans-MISSION earlier this month) had committed suicide.
I really don't know what to say. Although I only met her once in person I could tell from that meeting and her writings on the two groups we were both members of that she was a warm, caring and understanding person and always did her best to help others.
Her loss is a horrible shock, and I know she'll be terribly missed.
My friend Carol-Nerise wrote this poem in memory of Debbie when I told her the news tonight (which was a lovely gesture considering she didn't know her).
Deep feeling, hurting like hell,
Grief that needs healing,
Tears filled the well.
Lights lit, lifting our prayer,
That she gained light and peace,
She knows we will always care.
The healing thought in all this pain
Is that in that loving light
We will meet again.
Rest in peace Debbie. You're in our prayers, and the TS Community won't ever forget you.
Thank you also to those within the CP community who've sent their best wishes. I know she'd appreciate your care and compassion.
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
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Mind you I haven't been that drunk in quite a while!
I think in total there were 21 people there (from all around the country), some of whom I've known for a while (but not met face to face) and others who may well become new friends.
Of the lot of us, there was only one guy, so you can imagine he got wound up pretty mercillessly (and loved it!).
From the comments the day after I think I made a bit of an impression, although I'm not sure whether that's because of the rather gothic outfit I turned up in (hence the new pic), my odd sense of humour or the fact that I was briefly<super>* wandering around naked (apart from a g-string) in the morning...
<super>* No pun intended. Honest.
As virtually everyone there (bar two, I think) were transfolk and some are living "in stealth" I'm afraid I can't publish the pics, but I can tell you it was one helluva party, and it's done wonders for my self-confidence.
Next, I'm off clubbing in London this Saturday. Woo!
Anna
Homepage | My life in tears
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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Anna-Jayne Metcalfe wrote:
because of the rather gothic outfit
Maybe that is meant with the g-string... Didn't know where the 'g' came from...
Anna-Jayne Metcalfe wrote:
I can't publish the pics, but I can tell you it was one helluva party
... hmm, sounds intresting, pictures from a gothic string..
Olli
"Ooooooh, they have the internet on computers now!" Homer Simpson
+ = NULL :=>
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Olli wrote:
Maybe that is meant with the g-string... Didn't know where the 'g' came from...
Er...no. They're panties, hun. I don't wear briefs, only g-strings.
Olli wrote:
... hmm, sounds intresting, pictures from a gothic string..
Now there's an image!
The piccies are actually pretty tame - but I can't show them as some of those there are living "in stealth" - i.e. most of the people around them don't know they're transsexual. I always ask before uploading pics.
The ones from this weekend are a bit more fun - and I will be uploading those...as soon as I receive the other half of the pics from one of my friends.
Anna
Homepage | Tears and Laughter
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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Right now I'm staring at the ResOrg source code trying to adjust the various bits of existing UI to handle multi-file conflict analysis.
Although the core code is done (and I'm very happy with it), fixing the bits of UI it affects is taking ages...and I'm finding my concentration lasts about as long as the time it takes to cook beans on toast. At this rate, it's going to be a while.
Getting through transition helps hugely, but really, I know I can do better than this. If it wasn't for the amount of time it takes to do a release (help/website/article updates etc.) I'd do it in stages.
Hopefully the fog will lift a bit once the fallout from the divorce has settled in the Spring.
Now, where's my thinking head gone?
Anna
www.annasplace.me.uk
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be" - Marcia Graesch
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Anna-Jayne Metcalfe wrote:
Now, where's my thinking head gone?
What you need is a good nights sleep, and then a strong dosage of guarana/caffeine. You'll be producing code like crazy.
Standard Disclaimer: Too much Guarana/Caffeine may give you a slight headache later on.
--
I don't exist when you don't see me
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I wish! I usually find it hard to wind down in the evening and end up going to bed between midnight and 1am. I get up about 7am, chill with coffee and toast for 15 mins or so, then rush to get ready and get into work a quarter of an hour late.
I think if I drank any more coffee than I do on weekdays I'd turn into a coffee bean. At the weekend I don't drink much coffee at all. My favourite has to be grapefruit juice - the stronger the better.
Personally, I'm convinced the best way to be inspired and awake is to have wonderful loving sex the night before.
I'm not saying how I know that, mind.
Anna
Homepage | My life in tears
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be"
- Marcia Graesch
"Anna's just a sexy-looking lesbian tart"
- A friend, trying to wind me up. It didn't work.
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I've got some kind of random freeform poetry on mine
Maybe this should be a new competition - best use of the personal boards!
--
Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!
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Maybe the worst use would be as entertaining!!
I'm cerainly no poet but I do have a good head for lyrics...which in the past has led to me being a bit of a ringleader in drunken singing competitions...
Hm...maybe a "who can post the worst drinking song?" competition??
Anna
www.annasplace.me.uk
"Be yourself - not what others think you should be" - Marcia Graesch
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Anna-Jayne Metcalfe wrote:
How many of us have anything useful on their personal message board, I wonder
Nothing usefull on mine.. check it out.
Regards,
Brian Dela
Run naked in the snow until you're sweating like a stuck pig and can't seem to catch your breath. When the flu becomes pneumonia, they can cure that with a shot. - Roger Wright
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