Welcome to the Lounge

Quote:

"What is confusing you, my son ?"

"Menus and toolbars ... and so many dialogs and controls ... they confuse me ..."

"Do you not find them useful, my son ?"

"Oh yes ... yes, Oh Wise One ... they are so useful ... but ..."

"... something about them is confusing ... is it so ?"

"... I find it ... difficult ... hard ... to put into words."

"Take your time, my son ... the discovery of the truth is not without difficulty ..."

"Thank you"

"It is nothing ... there ... see ... that deep breath you just took ... where did that come from my son ... do you see how easy it is to relax ?"

"Yes ... my ... uhhh ... breath ... it came from ... mmm ... well, it's just natural isn't it !"

"Yes, natural ... and now that you are more relaxed ... let's take a look at that confusion of yours ... I want you to imagine you are walking along a beach ... feel your feet sinking into the cool, delicious wet sand ... the smell of salt spray ... a sound ... a gull’s cry as it wheels above the waves ..."

"Yes ... I can feel it ..."

"Now look along the beach ... what do you see on the beach ?"

"Driftwood ... a lot of driftwood ... piles of it ... little pieces ... pieces of iron sticking up out of the sand ... dried seaweed ..."

"Good ... I guess you have to walk around it ... is it so ?"

"Yes ... but I walk close to the edge of where the waves come up on the beach ... it is pretty clear there ..."

"Excellent ... now I want you to come back here with me ... let your mind return to this freezing cave with its overstuffed leather chairs and its 32 inch liquid crystal display Sony satellite television with Dolby Digital, THX and its robotic mini-bar which is even now mixing a fine batch of Margaritas to assist our further exploration of your confusion."

"Fantastic Margarita !"

"Yes, this mini-bar is the only one of its kind outside Japan."

"Wow"

"I saw it in Akhibara last year and I called up my old friend Nobu at the Ministry of Trade and Information and ... well ... let's say that I called in a few favors he owed me."

"mmm ..."

"Now ... let's explore what you saw on the beach ... the driftwood ..."

"Of course ... those are all the controls and menus and user-interface widgets that confuse the hell out of me ..."

"And the iron sticking out of the sand ..."

"Well, it had a kind of wonderful patina to it ... mmm ... aged ... it reminded me of when I was a kid and I used to go to the junkyard with my dad and I would go sit in some old clunker from the fifties while he looked for some part or other ... and I would fiddle with the wonderful over-sized knobs on the radio and heater controls."

"Those were the days ... "

"Yes, those were the days when the all-electric kitchen fascinated America ... kidney shaped swimming pools ... those contour chairs ... it was ... uhhh ... futuristic ... I guess ... to their minds ... but also organically influenced ..."

"So you have a positive feeling for that kind of ... call it ... interface."

"Yeah ... the iron pieces sticking up did seem friendly to me ... they weren't obstacles at all ..."

"But ... the driftwood ..."

"Well, that's the mess ... menus that do the same thing as buttons on a toolbar ... widgets that don't tell you what the hell they do ..."

"Until ?"

"Until you just get used to them ... until you've learned a hundred different ways to get through the driftwood obstacle courses and just take it for granted that you'll have to keep distracting yourself from your work to think about which particular route you need ... today ... through the driftwood."

"And the reason for all this driftwood ?"

"Oh, well ... uhhh ... historical accident ... enclaves of style like the Mac and the PC which have become landmarks in the public mind independent of issues like whether a two-button mouse is really all that useful ... or what's the best way ... if there is a best way ... to use keys on a keyboard to trigger special actions ..."

"You mean like the Apple key on the Mac, the Windows key ... the alt and control keys ... blah, blah, blah ..."