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You really have zeroed in on the best puns today 
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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Locksmithing is a key subject they don't teach in public school.
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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statistically wrong
Message Signature
(Click to edit ->)
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Speaking of which, I just saw my old math teacher with a piece of graph paper.
He must be plotting something!
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Good one. Switch the gender and it's me and the missus... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Message Removed
modified 7-Sep-18 6:59am.
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One day two corn cobs, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured corn cob called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured corn cob was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured corn cob, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life". 
Now please mosey on over to the soapbox to get the corniest joke of all!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Perhaps some oil and a microwave therapy will do the trick. If not, we can still salt him and then watch a movie together.
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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I heard that joke with both ears.
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I saw that one coming a mile off. 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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Cornea joke...so low key I almost didn't see it...LOL 
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Sniper comes home and wife asks "how are you doing ?"
He answers "missed you !" 
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Yeah, well - it's only murder if they find the body. Otherwise it's a missing person... 
Just leaving the thought out here for the rest of you...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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Useful information 
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Not strictly true. We have had people convicted of murder in the UK even though the victim's body was never found.
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REALLY? Honestly, I've always been told that not even an identifiable body part (say a hand or a foot) is enough proof that a person is actually dead... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
Mark Twain
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It was a fairly well reported case, although more than 30 or 40 years ago.
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When the cops ask you what you call your wife in a bathtub full of acid, then don't say 'A solution!'
I have lived with several Zen masters - all of them were cats.
His last invention was an evil Lasagna. It didn't kill anyone, and it actually tasted pretty good.
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Richard MacCutchan wrote: even though the victim's body was never found.
That happens here in the States on occasion as well. I assume anywhere really, that has a descent criminal investigation system will come across similar scenarios.
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I know pretty much all about DOS!
But what about all the DONTS?
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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DON'T ask.
DON'T tell.
Sent from my Amstrad PC 1640
Never throw anything away, Griff
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Are you feeling a bit integer today?
"If we don't change direction, we'll end up where we're going"
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megaadam wrote: But what about all the DONTS?
That's what your employment contract is for. 
Latest Article - A Concise Overview of Threads
Learning to code with python is like learning to swim with those little arm floaties. It gives you undeserved confidence and will eventually drown you. - DangerBunny
Artificial intelligence is the only remedy for natural stupidity. - CDP1802
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