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Our English teacher used to say: "Don't be confused. It's written as elephant, but we pronounce it like piano."
(It sounds better in Hungarian  )
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Like the, is it, nine ways to pronounce -ough.
Cough, slough, plough, though, thorough, through, er, probably a few more...
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"Je vais aller au parc"
French for "I'm going to go to the park"
The word "To Go" spelled and pronounced two different ways in French.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is.
Everything makes sense in someone's mind.
Ya can't fix stupid.
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No, 'vais' is the first person present form of 'aller', it is not the same word.
--edit-
let me add that the present continous form, 'i am going' does not exist in french, so je vais is just 'i go'.
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You might ponder on 'fox', the male, and 'vixen', the female.
The -en is a female ending (as well as plural) in germanic languages and the f and v interchange often, as in 'van', and 'from'. I seem to recall one is old saxon the other old norse.
Then the 'he goes'. Used to be 'he goeth', in proper southern style english, but apparently we ended up with the northern version.
There are some very close conections between English dialect forms and for example Dutch.
The Brummie yow, for you, is straight out of Dutch, and the yorkshire 't as in "going 't pub" is also used in Dutch. 'thuis is home for example.
Yet these forms are even't officially english despite their obvious ancestry.
It is a mess English, really.
Then you add French on top... just gets worse! 
modified 13-Sep-17 10:05am.
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Read and lead rhyme, and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
You also can't have manslaughter without laughter.
I like English - it keeps the foreigners away.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
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You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
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When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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But read and red do rhyme, with led!
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: it keeps the foreigners away.
I thought that was the customs unit
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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To your rant list, add "adjective order". Nobody teaches you this - or at least I don't recall it ever being mentioned - but there is a definite order to adjectives before a noun which when broken marks you out as a non-native speaker (Possibly a managed speaker?)
Quantity, Quality, Size, Age, Shape, Colour, Material or origin, Purpose.
A dozen fine small old oblong green wooden French sports bicycles please. Try it with just one out of order:
A fine small old oblong green dozen wooden French sports bicycles please.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
modified 13-Sep-17 10:24am.
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That's a new one to me, but you are right, it does have a certain flow to it.
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 That was on my list. Hoping to bring the lounge back to the interesting discussions of the pre-otds of yesteryear.
For example I'm currently writing on a French Macbook, which has a different keyboard. The Q and the A are swapped aswell as the M and the B. but most annoyingly you have to press shift to get the "." where as not pressing shift gives you a ";"
What the f*** is that about? How is the ; used more than the . in French.
Even the cheese eating surrender monkey of a bird can't answer that.
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The word "dozen" is a noun, not an adjective. The 2nd example you provided is simply an incorrectly assembled sentence, and that's why it doesn't make sense.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
-
You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
-
When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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It can also be an adjective: Dozen | Definition of Dozen by Merriam-Webster[^]
But I'll agree it does depend on whose definition(s) you are using - not all sources accept "dozen" as an adjective.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Quote: How come the word Australia has 3 A's and they all are pronounced differently?
Au != A
ia != A
as with most languages, English has more vowel sounds than there are letters to represent them. hence dipthongs.
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Chris Losinger wrote: English has more vowel sounds than there are letters to represent them. hence dipthongs.
I hope you are referring to Australian dipthongs, otherwise known as "dipflipflops" over 'ere.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Chris Losinger wrote: dipthongs
Cue Sean and the mankini.
Software Zen: delete this;
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*door busts open*
Thanks,
Sean Ewington
CodeProject
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The French have no business pointing out the oddities of any language.
(As a French-Canadian, I'm allowed to say this).
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I've found out that cat is femine and dog is masculine, which I sort of get even though I dont understand the whole assigning a masculine/feminie thing.
I ponted out how ridiculous this is when she told me that both breasts and vagina are refered to as masculine. I mean WTF?
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And dick, yes, slang for penis is also feminine.
Weird eh?
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Pom Pey wrote: I dont understand the whole assigning a masculine/feminie thing.
One word... german
M.D.V.
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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What a fancy way to brag about your new female acquisition. 
There is only one Vera Farmiga and Salma Hayek is her prophet!
Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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I lost my last "career" position as a programmer almost a year ago (Sept 26) and had a hard time getting back in. Many thought I was too old (48) and set in my ways. There were a couple of positions that I did make it to the final round of selection at least.
In the mean time, I did get licensed as a first responder, took a position with a sporting events company providing first aid at races. I also worked for UPS last Christmas season running packages to a million Amazon shoppers. I took a job at a quick lube and changed oil on about 1000 cars and trucks over the last 3 months.
I started Monday as part of the Senior IT Applications Team at the corporate offices of a larger manufacturing company. Kind of nice to be back in, and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my working years there.
The only downside is the coffee; I have a choice of $2.00 a cup at the cafeteria (they serve Starbucks) or vending machine instant. I thought I had a spare coffee maker but I guess I'll be doing Thermos bottles for the next couple of weeks.
Director of Transmogrification Services
Shinobi of Query Language
Master of Yoda Conditional
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Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click "I agree".
Anonymous
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I have an old school Stanley Vacuum Bottle from my days doing field work. Fresh ground coffee brewed every morning, served hot all day!
Welcome back to the slog, good sir!
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
- Benjamin Disraeli
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