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"This is not the file you're looking for..."
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... culled from Guardian comments ...
What did Quasimodo's taller brother do for a living?
He was an umpire!
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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Good one! It took a minute to hit.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.1 Beta tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
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All it takes is one f-wit to do something stupid...
Back when I commuted I did it by motorcycle, and it would take about an hour each way. But every month (at least) some moron would look up from his newspaper to realise he was supposed to be driving and my journey would double. 
If I'd done it by car, that would have been 2 hours doubled to 4!
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I have the pleasure of driving on Southern California's freeway system - aka Gridlock.
Never a day passes when I drive by some woman putting on makeup or some guy texting.
Never ceases to amaze me.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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The worst I saw in England was a people carrier, laptop open on the dashboard, typing away and steering with his elbows. At 60 ~ 70 mph... 
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I saw a lorry leaving our place a few years ago, the driver was on the phone with one hand, holding a cup of tea with his other, and steering with his elbows as he pulled out into traffic.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Now THAT'S multitasking
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Or that Dutch lorry on the autobahn where the driver was playing a guitar!
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It's difficult for me to say "the worst I saw", because everyone here is the worst. But a notable one was a Mercedes, speeding, at night, with the driver watching TV. There was an actual TV on the dashboard. He was all over the road from shoulder to shoulder. Ran me off the road. Not a care in the world.
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How dare they!
I've always found driving your car into another object, wrecking your car (and the other object), and hurting yourself and your passengers (and possibly others) to be a very selfish act.
Did they at least die so they can't do it again?
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It was gone by the time I passed - but the damage was done
If it's not broken, fix it until it is
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Most people just use the toilet. 
Decrease the belief in God, and you increase the numbers of those who wish to play at being God by being “society’s supervisors,” who deny the existence of divine standards, but are very serious about imposing their own standards on society.-Neal A. Maxwell
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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I live 16 miles from where I work, at times it can take an hour.
Next month I start my new job, it will be 40 something miles from my home, I'm hoping that it will still take about an hour, no more than an hour and a half, if things go very badly, and I do have to cross the M42 (very busy motorway) so the possibility is always there, I hate to think how long it could take.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I feel your pain. I frequently commute on the 101/405. Wednesday I have to go past downtown - I'm allowing 2.5 hours for the journey. 
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 Terrible. Just terrible. 
Especially when it takes me, like, 23 minutes to travel 16.5 miles, twice a day, mostly freeway. 
.
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My commute is 2 miles door to door. I should walk/bike more, and some days it might be faster to do so.
Hogan
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5 to 6 km here. About 20 minutes by bike and five minutes by car 
You get SO much more spare time, I recommend it to everyone
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That's nothing. I was once on a section of highway (route 495 in Massachusetts) that was completely stopped for 2.5 hours while they cleared an eight-car pile-up.
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Once it happened that someone was driving in the opposite direction on the highway. I heard it on the radio and wasn't sure what to do. I was happy that all that happened was a longer commute. While 2.5 hours would make me very annoyed, I was in a way(selfishly) very relieved that someone else crashed into him/her. I mean if it had to come to that - the best outcome would definitely not involve a crash. I'm not sure what the outcome of the accident was, but as I made way for the police and ambulance, I knew we were going to have to wait. The funny part is that I was running 10 minutes late.
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15 minutes on my bike. + 2 minutes if there are red lights or headwind. -2 minutes if there is a tail wind. 
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If a Norse God entered a cycle race, would it be the Thor De France?
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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That would be no Odinary race!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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You Odin to be talking that way.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.2.1 Beta tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
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