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... that they took with their damned phone is going to be smacked upside the head with a file cabinet.
That is all.
Software Zen: delete this;
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The correct procedure is obviously:
- Take a screen-dump - preferably of an error message with an obvious "copy the full error details to the clipboard as readable text" button;
- Paste the screen-dump into Word, making sure to resize it to less than half the page width;
- Print the Word document on a dot-matrix printer;
- Fax the print-out to someone, and ask them to scan it in as a PDF and email it back;
- Email the developer the PDF containing the (skewed) scanned copy of the faxed printed Word document with the resized screen-dump;
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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If you stick OCR in there somewhere you'll get my 5.
/ravi
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The OCR didn't help: the fax was the wrong side of the paper...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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If you stick OCR in there, you'll end up with half of the questions in QA! 
"These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined."
- Homer
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No matter how many times I hold the printout up to the monitor, the fax comes out blank.
The problem must be with your software.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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This isn't far off what one of the departments I support does. 
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This reminds me of a woman who worked for a client of mine back in the '90s. Once, she called up complaining that her computer wasn't faxing things properly, so I went to her office to see: she was trying to fax something by holding the paper up to the screen and waiting [im]patiently... I asked her (a) what she thought was going to happen; (b) how the computer was supposed to know what she wanted to do; (c) where she thought she was supposed to do things like enter the phone number of the destination fax... her response was, "It's a computer, isn't it? Computers know everything."
Another time, she asked me how she could email a box to her daughter. I asked her what she thought would happen to the box: would it dematerialize in front of her and rematerialize in California, for example? She said, "How am I supposed to know?" I tried to explain that Star Trek transporters aren't real, but she had no idea what I was talking about... so I said, "If you could email objects, don't you think people would email themselves across the country instead of flying?" and she said, "Wow - that's a clever idea! I wonder why nobody's thought of it!" I gave up. Told my boss about it later on, and he wouldn't believe me.
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A not dissimilar experience some years back.
My response: "How do you think that would work? FM?"
Customer: "FM?, What's FM?"
Me: "F**king Magic"
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Many years ago a friend of mine worked in the support section of a UK company that provides Accounting software. After a prolonged conversation with a User she was unable to determine a fix for their problem so requested "a copy of your data diskette" to be sent to her.
You've guessed it ... a photocopy of the disk appeared in the post the next day 
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It's like.... a picture of a 3D print of the save button icon?! 
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Reminds me of the story a friend told me when he worked in tech support.
User kept calling and saying the diskettes that had been sent to him did not work.
After the failure of the fourth one, they decided to physically visit the user and ask to see the defective disks.
When they got to his cube and asked to see the latest failed disk, he spun around in his chair and removed the disk that had been held to his cube wall with a magnet.
My friend refused to say where the body was disposed.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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What's your phone number? I've got something for you...
Will Rogers never met me.
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555-867-5309
Software Zen: delete this;
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Why Jenny, you've really changed!
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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Yes, but I've got her number.
Software Zen: delete this;
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This reminds me of a user that had a web page layout problem, difficult to replicate of course, so I asked her to send a screen capture through of what she could see. A couple of hours later I receive a hand drawn picture of her screen, buttons, images and all! Very artistic and entertaining 
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That beats the phone picture, hands down! 
Software Zen: delete this;
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I was going to give a smart ass answer but I would love having one of these[^].
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.1 new web site.
I know the voices in my head are not real but damn they come up with some good ideas!
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OMG it has a rotary engine, I want! I bet it sounds amazing. And drinks a lot of gas.
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looks neat
Life's like a nose, you've got to get out of it whats in it!
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OMG it has a rotary engine, I want! I bet it sounds amazing. And drinks a lot of gas.
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