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Poor hubbies ! Not a chance...
1."If you want to change the world, do it when you are a bachelor. After marriage, you can't even change a TV channel..."
2.Normally a man speaks 25000 words a day and a women speaks 30000. But the problem starts when the husband comes home from work after finishing his 25000 words and the wife is just getting started with her 30000!
3.Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You don’t understand it but you still accept it.
4.Chess is the only game in the world, which reflects the status of the husband; the poor king can take only one step at a time .... While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.
5.All Men are Brave, Horror Movies don't scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ...surely does
6.What's Checkmate?
You tell your wife “I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" & wife asks "WAS SHE HOT..??"
You can’t say 'No' and you can’t say 'Yes' – now that’s Checkmate!
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Vivic wrote:
3.Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of a website. You don’t understand it but you still accept it.
Like buying a box of cereal you don't really want, just to get the prize inside.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Number 3: You accept it, to use the service. 
I like the 6th one!
Favourite line: Throw me to them wolves and close the gate up. I am afraid of what will happen to them wolves - Eminem
~! Firewall !~
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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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PJ Arends wrote: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.
Which is why you don't get married. Problem solved.
Jeremy Falcon
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I was single well into my forties, but now that I am married she tells me that I would never want to go back to being single.
Within you lies the power for good - Use it!
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Number 6 reminded me (was here in the lounge a while ago):
What is the difference between guts and balls?
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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Am I the only one on this site who reads the wife jokes on here and thinks everybody else just married the wrong person?
To be fair though this comment is not suited to this post as these jokes are funny.
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P0mpey3 wrote: Am I the only one on this site who reads the wife jokes on here and thinks everybody else just married the wrong person?
You're not alone. Most guys are desperate and just take what they can get. I kid around about never getting married, but it's in jest. Marriage is only a prison if you allow it to be.
Jeremy Falcon
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Solitary confinement ?
We can’t stop here, this is bat country - Hunter S Thompson RIP
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Happy wife, happy life? New study says ‘yes’[^]
Quote: For married couples, when the wife is happy with the marriage, the husband has higher life satisfaction, according to new research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.
Anyone who's ever has his wife unhappy with him could confirm that home life life is hell until he admits he is wrong. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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Happy marriage is an oxymoron. 
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Only if you don't admit you're wrong.
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Admitting that I'm wrong is wrong.
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I had to rename the dog house as my primary residence.
New version: WinHeist Version 2.1.0 Beta
Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?
Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9.
I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours!
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Either way you were living with a bitch.
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I wouldn't dare say "no" either.
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I'd be real interested in seeing the data. What percentage of women were moderately happy? I've come to the conclusion (based on my small sample of friends and family) that anytime a woman is not pissed off often, the man is reasonably happy. Women are nuts. Gotta love them though, the ones that didn't poison us at least.
Reminds me of my joke.
Q: Why are women nuts?
A: Because they're always pistachio.
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Man 1: My dog doesn't have a tail.
Man 2: How do you know when he's happy?
Man 1: When he stops biting me.
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Saw your other post. 5-ed again!
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Quote: The research is among the first to examine the influence of his and her marriage appraisals
That's kind of like stating the this reseach is the first study to find that dogs smell each others a$$es alot, or that most fish live in water.
Believe me when my wife is unhappy with me... oh, hi dear, how's your day?
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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S Houghtelin wrote: that most fish live in water.
Has that been scientifically proven? 
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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RyanDev wrote: Has that been scientifically proven?
I think they tried but the references were kind of fishy.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Water you talking about ?
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The more I hear that saying, the more it annoys me. I believe it is really "Unhappy wife, unhappy life" and women concluded that is the same as "Happy wife, happy life". It is not!
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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