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Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.".
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That would work, except that 119 mph is hardly that fast.
I am sure you have bombed down an autobahn in excess of that.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur .
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Dalek Dave wrote: I am sure you have bombed down an autobahn in excess of that.
Maybe, once or twice.
Normally I'll hit Cruise Control for 90-95, depending on the traffic, and just let it go. You can't race for 12 hours.
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Dalek Dave wrote: That would work, except that 119 mph is hardly that fast.
My mum complains a long time below that speed, and she is nowhere near being a little old lady. Yet.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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If route 119 is a single carriageway road and you're being driven by a dopey old lady, I think that would be quite scary enough!
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0.5 * m * v * v.
It's quite fast.
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
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Dalek Dave wrote: except that 119 mph is hardly that fast.
It is in the US where the highest legal speed limits are something like 75 or 80 mph and those are few and far between (mostly in very remote areas).
Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. ~ George Washington
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Normally everyday sucks, today is no exception but the amount of cr@py things elevated really early in the morning.
The only good thing so far : I can decide to be extra anti-social and turn off my Skype: So to all who write to me in there - Well bad luck.
Why do I have to explain to the tester why is not acceptable to set a value "No" to attribute with type xs:boolean in the elephanting XML. Why should I even have to test it when clearly the example XML doesn't pass the validation by XSD?
And I got an really long explanation telling me how this should work and what should I do. From where the testers know how to program? I think I should let him do it the way he wants.
At least today's Dilbert is in the same mood as I'm in. I knew I shouldn't get up from the bed today.
Sorry, but I had to share this with someone who will understand the situation
On the good side of things : The thing that keeps me going is the nice Nestle melon flavored ice-cream in a package of 2l in the freezer at home.
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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What a great day!
My new coffee machine is due here in an hour for full on testing.
If that doesn't make it good, this very afternoon we're off for our summer holiday! A month! One whole month on holiday by Lake Balaton!
Get!
In!
There!
![Beer | [beer]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/beer.gif) ![Jig | [Dance]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/jig.gif) ![Sheep | [baah]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/sheep.gif) ![Good Stuff | [The good stuff]](https://codeproject.global.ssl.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/vegemite.gif)
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Rendevouz Nagy's for gratis coffee. I hear the house is empty 
"If you don't fail at least 90 percent of the time, you're not aiming high enough."
Alan Kay.
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So this is where I get in line. My day is not even started yet and I just want to curl up on the floor in the fetal position.
My wife came back from visiting her mom today (well, yesterday, Wednesday). On her way home from the airport she stopped to grab something to eat. When she got back to her car, someone had broken into it and stolen her purse and tablet. She had her credit card and my ATM card in the purse along with her passport. Both the purse and passport were brand new (and they actually charged her $230 for renewing the passport  ).
I logged into my online banking account to see how I would go about cancelling the ATM card and saw that it already had two $40 transactions posted. I call their support number, but I could not cancel it because my wife was the last one of us to have it in her possession  .
Fine. I have my wife call in, but somehow she gets through a different number, have to answer all kinds of security questions and is unable to cancel the card .
Fine. I poke around the online banking site and find the "Stop payment" option. Now we are getting somewhere. Check the "Checking account", "Stolen" and "Multiple transactions" options. Hmmm... "Check number From-To"... Well, there are no check numbers since it is my ATM card - let's leave it blank. Great, those numbers are required .
It is 1:30 AM by now and I have to get to work tomorrow. This whole ordeal is going to cost me at least $1,000. Plus whatever the thieving sunshine is able to charge before I can get it cancelled in the morning.
I am SoMad
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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*bang*
whistles and walks away
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I guess you only had one bullet. Just my luck 
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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*click* *click* *click* *bang*
I have started to like it.
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*prick*
*disappears*
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Movie Quote Of The Day
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Which movie?
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Debbie to John Holmes in "Debbie Joins The Mile High Club"
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Ok, this one is a real hard. The quote is futile as well with no clue about the movie whatsoever!! 
Whether I think I can, or think I can't, I am always bloody right!
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it has been a long time since I received a whitty reply, but this nails it 
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"Sex With Your Parents, Parte 2"
THESE PEOPLE REALLY BOTHER ME!! How can they know what you should do without knowing what you want done?!?!
-- C++ FQA Lite
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ewe! 
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Well, in my opionion, it is a minor work, albeit not such disgusting: "Set the Twilight Reeling"[^].
THESE PEOPLE REALLY BOTHER ME!! How can they know what you should do without knowing what you want done?!?!
-- C++ FQA Lite
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V. wrote: Which movie?
"Inappropriate in the Lounge", Director: KSS Himself!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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