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My daughter is getting to the preteen age, and boys are starting to like her. She's still not exactly sure how she feels about that, but that'll come along. She likes the romantic ideas about being special to someone.
Anyway, she's a green belt in Isshin Ryu Karate. Shes had some striking training at my gym, and very little grappling. She knows the various reasons it's important to be able to protect yourself, as well as be confident. We've went over several of them. I wish she would have taken to grappling more, but she's just not into that particular bit.
After getting her green belt, the karate school came under new Sensai-ism (made that up). She didn't like the new guy, so after trying to adjust eventually dropped out. She's just been doing sports since then, and no martial arts.
So I told her:
"You're wanting to hang out with friends alone more often. The boys have been looking at you recently, and you're getting older." (she makes the face here). "When the time does come where you are thinking about boys.. your mom and I have talked and come to a decision. If you want to have a boyfriend, the only thing we require is that you take kickboxing. You don't have to grapple, but you must take kickboxing"
She agreed, and not much else was said. She just asked me if I could start teaching her kickboxing again.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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loctrice wrote: If you want to have a boyfriend, the only thing we require is that you take kickboxing.
I was going to say something about subliminal expectations of male violence, but then I realized, if she doesn't like grappling, I doubt you have much to worry about. 
Marc
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Kickboxing is a good choice, she only needs to hit once.
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Also, teach her that she is not allowed to date until at least age 16 and then do group dates. If she follows those rules she'll be much less likely to ever need kickboxing skills.
Still teach her kickboxing though.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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Quote: group dates
So you are encouraging orgies?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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I hope she never needs those skills unless she decides to compete. However, I still want her to have them.
Besides, there are many things a person gains on the way to being self-defense efficient, aside from the actual battle tactics involved.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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Agreed.
There are only 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
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You might look into hapkido for her. It's Korean for "maiming and killing in painful fashion" I believe, and the training can be done from video tapes with a willing victim for practice. Simple twists and leverage are all that's required, without great strength. It's especially useful for removing unwanted hands in a special way that will discourage a repeat offense. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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In an unarmed fight with a single opponent, I don't value anything higher than kickboxing. Especially if that opponent is trained in any art. I have several reasons for this.
However, as a secondary skill I think hapkido would be fine. If I get a preference on a second skill, since she doesn't want to do grappling, I would say knife fighting. I enjoyed the bits of kali knife stuff I learned, and it's the second most practical thing to happen IMO.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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loctrice wrote: I don't value anything higher than kickboxing.
yeah coz all things are equal.
dude its the dude/ess doing it not the martial art.
Bryce
MCAD
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I don't think that is correct. Nothing I've seen leads me to believe that is true.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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what you have seen (e.g. the story below) and what is the case is actually two different beasts and they're easy to confuse.
Those that are not suited to the style of training yuor describe elsewhere tend to leave, so you're left with the people who are more suited to it(or just like it and thus the training is effective for them). Thus an observer sees a self selecting group being trained in a particular way - and draws a conclusion.
Take that same self selecting group and training them in another style and you are more than likely have the same result.
Bryce
MCAD
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bryce wrote: what you have seen (e.g. the story below) and what is the case is actually two different beasts and they're easy to confuse.
This part of the thread doesn't have anything to do with the story below. I'm not sure hwo you are relating them.
I've got a little more experience than just reading someone else's post.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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There is a BIG difference between training with a willing opponent and fighting. I had a teacher who taught everything from combat submission wrestling, Jeet Kun Do, Kali - Silat, Muay Tai, Karate...
He would tell the Kickboxing and CSW class that "a few months of full contact sparring here and you can beat any 'point sparring' black belt".
It is very true. I watched some of his more advanced "traditional martial arts" guys come to the class and as soon as it was full contact, they were like a deer in the headlights.
There is a phrase from the first generation MMA circuits (I forget who said it). Punch a BJJ blackbelt in the face and he becomes a blue belt. Do it again and he is a white belt.
That isn't entirely true any more, but if you don't train full contact, it isn't real.
However, that said, kickboxing has a lot of things it cannot prepare for: ground fighting, multi-opponent, weapons, coercion, drug induced crazy... usually the best defense is running really fast and screaming really loud.
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I strongly agree with everything you've said.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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Pualee wrote: usually the best defense is running really fast and screaming really loud.
On the assumption that the best defense is a good offense, kick boxing still has a lot to offer. Once you put your foot into your attackers family jewels, he'll be rolling on the ground whimpering quietly instead of screaming and chasing you.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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I'd agree with most everything here, but the initial learning has to use a willing assistant, especially in an art like hapkido, since it's most effective when it's automatic. Once that is ingrained, live sparring is essential to perfecting the skill. That's one of the things I liked about my school, when it was open; sparring nights. It wasn't required, but it was encouraged and the smarter students took advantage of it.
Pualee wrote: usually the best defense is running really fast and screaming really loud.
Very true, and there's no shame in living to fight another day. I've never lost a fight in the first five miles...
Will Rogers never met me.
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I tell my students - "Run the like coward i am"
<edit>
Oh and cowards live longer
Bryce
MCAD
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bryce wrote: tell my students
That explains why you were so touchy about the martial arts thing.
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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i'm not touchy  if you want to touch me you have to pay me like all the other programmers
Bryce
MCAD
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For some reason this reminded me of This shirt[^]
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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Just using a knee works too.
True story: when my oldest daughter was in sixth grade, she was in line at a camp the sixth graders in our school district go to every year. A boy behind her snapped her bra strap. She turned around and kneed him in the groin. He dropped. Story spread. No guy ever snapped her bra strap again.
Years later, she was working at an Italian fast food chain. Several of the girls complained to my daughter about a male manager hitting on them. She'd get pissed and tell them to do something about it. One evening, she was in the back alone cutting some vegetables and the guy stepped up to her. Without turning around, she told him to back off or she'd chop his balls off. He never hit on her again. Stayed far away, in fact.
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She knows where to hit someone
It's also worth noting my daughter has done well at full contact sparring with the boys. She's only had to challenge one person, and it was sort of funny.
She's usually very passive. She had someone over one day who was taunting and hitting. It started out as a play thing, but then it wasn't funny anymore. My daughter kept telling the girl it was over, and to stop it. Eventually she said, firmly, that if she touched her again she would be sorry. Problem solved
Elephant elephant elephant, sunshine sunshine sunshine
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can i suggest that kneeing someone in the groin in an overreaction to having a bra snapped?
I mean its a great story "yeah this bloke snapped her bra so knee kneed him in the nuts." yeah what a B^*%*&D deserved what he got.
Well not really. I'd argue she went over the top and got away with it because shes a girl and society encourages that.
A proportional response would have been more in order. i reckon.
Bryce
MCAD
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I agree... and had I not stopped to read something else first, would have posted it!!
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