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Matt U. wrote: "I need faster internet or something, my computer keeps freezing on me."
I'm sure that was funny in context... but in reality, everything is starting to run from the internet, and it really is the slowest communication point between all the connections in a computer. This nonsense will become more logical as time marches on.
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I agree, I hadn't thought about the lack of relevance nowadays. But it still irks me a bit I hear it. Especially when someone has an older computer and a slower DSL connection, and 90% of the tasks they perform involve no sort of internet connectivity.
djj55: Nice but may have a permission problem
Pete O'Hanlon: He has my permission to run it.
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"Nonsense more logical" or "logical nonsense"? Either way, its an oxymoran.
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People misuse "bandwidth" all the time. They confuse real bandwidth with the data transfer rate.
In engineering, bandwidth refers to the range of frequencies contained in a given band.
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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Drawing a distinction between those terms may be technically correct (i.e. analog's bandwidth vs digital's data transfer rate), but I see the terms being used interchangeably much more often than not. Actually, I just now scanned a few "Intel white papers" the older ones tend to use the terms interchangeably, at least one new paper avoids either term and uses "frequency" to imply either depending on whether they're discussing the analog or digital side of the chip. I'll pay more attention in the future. Maybe it comes down to where the authors were educated?
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ssa-ed wrote: Maybe it comes down to where whether the authors were educated?
FTFY
The difficult we do right away...
...the impossible takes slightly longer.
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We have a guy at my job that wants to pull data to the website from excel sheets. The problem though is that he actually means that. 
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So let him do it.
We don't get enough code in "The Weird and the Wonderful" as it is these days!
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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He's not a programmer, he's one of those people that tells the programmers what to do, and how to do it.
He's also good with buzzwords, and even if he doesn't always understand them it sounds good to the boss.
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So teach him some new buzzwords and let his boss look them up rather than admit he doesn't know them...:EvilGrinSmiley:
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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And you didn't chose words to get him fired? 
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it. --- George Santayana (December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952)
Those who fail to clear history are doomed to explain it. --- OriginalGriff (February 24, 1959 – ∞)
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He's not that kind of stupid, and I'm not that kind of evil.
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[C# required]
Now you just create a "Excel Uploader" program that uses Excel Interop, and quietly make a CSV and uploads that instead.
I actually had to use a website that was too complicated for the end user, so I used a WebX and auto-filled everything it could detect. Unfortunately file open dialogs can't be filled in programatically, so I used SendKeys.Send() on a Timer for that.
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Jörgen Andersson wrote: He's also good with buzzwords,
One place I worked hired a VP of Technology who was nothing but a big bag of buzzwords. In the mid 90's he was strolling through our prairie dog village and telling us that Flash memory was going to replace the RAM in our desktops. This was the age of "paradigm" in every memo. He was a real "Management by Magazine Article" type guy. He proclaimed the company's mainframes dead and replaced them with minicomputers. One machine (long in the tooth) used Autocoder and all the programs were to be converted to COBOL. Once all the programs were converted to COBOL, it would be easy to maintain them, he claimed. My observation that a badly written program is hard to maintain in any language was ignored. The future was beckoning.
A throwaway line in the Manager's Edition (the summation in the margins) of a Smalltalk book claimed it could be used to model a company. He then wanted us to write a Smalltalk program as a whole company simulator so upper management could explore layoffs and reorganization on the operation of the company.
Thankfully he was shown the door, but only after he miss-estimated how long the mainframe to minicomputer conversion was going to take and it cost the company an extra $10 million dollars in operational expenses.
Psychosis at 10
Film at 11
Those who do not remember the past, are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do not remember the past, cannot build upon it.
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My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive, and asks me how much 'hard memory' he has.
I still have no idea what the hell he thinks he means. He won't stop saying it. It means something between drive space and RAM in his head.
I've tried the "desk top / desk drawer" analogy. I've tried ripping it apart and showing him the actual components.
Nothing works.
He also runs a defrag when he thinks he sees evidence of malware, despite my assurances that he's waving a dead chicken at the thing.
Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
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mikepwilson wrote: Technology hates him. I've never seen anyone have so many problems from normal judicious use of a computer or smartphone. It's impressive.
So You haven't met MY Brothers. One asked me to fix his email. What happened is he forgot his password. 
David
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He called me on my way in to work this morning. One of those "fake anti-virus" trojans.
"But I didn't DO anything."
"The fact that it's there proves that's not true."
He wasn't pleased. But dammit! Stop clicking on s***!
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mikepwilson wrote: My best friend for >20 years still calls his tower the hard drive,
I find that to be quite common for people of my parents ages and older (60's plus).
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Some one I know calls the whole computer (tower and all) the CPU - it drives me nuts (possibly why he still does it!)
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At least that's closer.
I'm convinced there's a subset of civilians who absolutely adore doing this kind of thing to us.
Like the XKCD comic about sending typography geeks cards in papyrus.
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From tech people (unfortunately): A while ago our company started using Entity Framework and databinding. Completely unrelated I created a library we could use for a certain type of software. Appearently some people thought the one couldn't do without the other. So I got questions like "We can't use EF for this, should we use your library?" or "I need something else than EF, because I can't bind this value" and I'm just sitting there like "What does that have to do with anything?"
Luckily things have been better lately.
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My brother usually has these problems:
- Microsoft is not working (he means Word)
- Mozzarella is not working (that is Firefox, apparently the cheese name is easier to remember than the actual company name)
Make it simple, as simple as possible, but not simpler.
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A fiend refers to the computer (everything apart from mouse, keyboard & screen) as the "hard drive".
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