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What you fantasize about is none of our business.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Wear a loud (even musical if necessary) tie to distract them.
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PIEBALDconsult wrote: Wear a loud (even musical if necessary) tie to distract them.
If only I kept the God awful tie I had from the early/mid nineties.
Worked for a major bank in a team of programmers doing the rewrite of their branch and loans products, at the time ties were a requirement for all males. Was out with a female team mate one lunch when we saw these extremely ugly ties. Bought enough for each member of the team, male and female and introduced Ugly Tie Friday.
The tie had to be worn during working hours every Friday, in the office, at lunch, in meetings with management or external people. Anyone who forgot or took it off had to buy morning or afternoon tea for the entire team. If we all remembered we put in $5.00 each and ate like kings.
They were terrible, I'm extremely colour blind and spent the 80's wearing what passed for fashion back then and even I could see how bad the ties were.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Michael Martin wrote: Ugly Tie Friday
hehe... reminds me of one place I worked back in the late 90's that did a similar thing... so one Friday, there was someone there who was wearing the most hideous tie ever, so I complimented him on his entry for bad tie Friday, only to discover he wasn't part of it... whoops!!
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Michael Martin wrote: Smiling Photo Done
Designing a new Penguin Piss label? 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Johnny J. wrote: Designing a new Penguin Piss label?
No. A reference to a post I made yesterday. Got a job sub-contracting to a company that gets mostly home users with some companies. Need to get a photo id made up. Sent them a photo and they need one of me smiling elephanting sunshines. I don't smile and the picture I had taken today (just looked at it again) looks like a sunshine you wouldn't let prune your weeds.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Ah I see, also useable as a CP profile pic in other words... 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
-----
I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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At Northrop we had to wear security badges all the time, which included a picture, and colored stripes to indicate clearance levels and special access clearances. We worked in cubicles, and if a doorway had a colored stripe that didn't match any on your badge, it was a violation to enter that cubicle. But I digress...
Security was supposed to be very tight, with the black projects we were designing there, but one young fellow on my team was extremely distressed by the poor quality of the picture on his badge. So he did what any decent engineer would do - prized the lamination off the badge, replaced his picture with one of the Pope, and resealed the laminate. He wore it for as long as I worked there, and no one ever noticed.
If you don't care for your picture - or the company doesn't - just crop the family picture that came with your wallet, and send in the picture of smiling Dad, sans wifey and kids. 
Will Rogers never met me.
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I've only ever had one photo id card I liked. I was working in Melbourne at the time and the admin dude put a headshot of a merino sheep on it. Farking brilliant. Sh*t myself laughing. I wore that ID with pride. 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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The last place I worked, I made a paper copy of my ID badge and added Dilbert as my photo, fixed up things in the badge holder so that it still opened doors etc. Fortunately my colleagues appreciated the brashness and the bosses appreciated the point. Great place to work.
[Many thanks to Scott Adams.]
Windows 8 is the resurrected version of Microsoft Bob. The only thing missing is the Fisher-Price logo.
- Harvey
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So, I'm trying to pay an airline booking for next years big trip via internet banking. First hurdle, current transaction limit is 10k and the tickets are $90 over that, so contact bank, verify myself and ask to have limit upped by 1k. Oh, the next step is 25k. Nothing in between? Nope. OK, up it to 25k, I'll do my transfer and get it decreased again.
Go to do transaction after limit increased. Oh, now I need an online code for two factor authentication. Fair enough, the bank is taking security seriously. Ahhhh, the magic code gets sent to my mobile phone. Trouble is I live rural and there is no cellphone coverage. 
Looks like I'm driving in to town to the bank to get it done over the counter. 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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...and yet in NZ the Eye of Sauron can see everywhere!
The cell phone companies need to catch up. I have a friend who is a big(ish) wig in NZ Communications. I shall have him get in there and fix it for you. North Island or South Island?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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Lower north. I can draw a line on the road where coverage ends. It's all these damned hills.
Still, no coverage has it's advantages. The kids don't run up big bills  and know how to use a landline (how quaint!). Plus no one ever asks me to be on call 
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Mark H2 wrote: and the tickets are $90
Just of out interest where is trip - the moon?
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Being in UnZud (MM can tell you where that is) it costs a sh*tload to get anywhere. Hence the just over 10k for the airfares (for 3). The trip is more or less in this order - Greece, France, Italy, Croatia then Italy again. Of course the travel consultant (Mrs Wife) may makes changes, additions and deletions at will at pretty much any time. But if the last eurovacation was anything to go by it should be 10 weeks of good times. Some friends are planning to meet us on Santorini for my daughters 21st (they're her god parents) which should be a blast.
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Mark H2 wrote: I live rural and there is no cellphone coverage.
What a wonderful place that sounds like.
Any houses for sale in the area?
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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There's always a few for sale at any time. What's your budget?
The thing with what we call "lifestyle blocks" is that a lot of people who buy them don't realise the effort that goes into maintaining them so after a year or two they come back on the market. We've lived here for nearly 12 years now and wouldn't give it up for anything (8000m2 block in the middle or a working farm, no neighbours).
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Mark H2 wrote: What's your budget?
If I take over as chief sheep provider to Griff, pretty high.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Not sure if our ones understand Welsh for "assume the position".
If your neighbours don't listen to The Ramones, turn it up real loud so they can.
“We didn't have a positive song until we wrote 'Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue!'” ― Dee Dee Ramone
"The Democrats want my guns and the Republicans want my porno mags and I ain't giving up either" - Joey Ramone
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Plenty of places in rural England and I'm sure Scotland and Wales too.
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For those who didn't notice Google today, Admiral Grace Hopper, had she still been alive, would have been 107 today.
The reason for this post however is that Grace Hopper was instrumental in inflicting COBOL upon the world and I have to admit that is one of the languages I have used professionally. It set me wondering how many languages I have actually used professionally (not as a hobby or the two or three I have created myself for unique applications) over the years.
Here is my list, in chronological order of first propfessional use as I remember:
Assembler for Pr1me computers
FORTRAN IV
CORAL-66
Fortran-77
IBM Assembler
PL/1
JCL
Easytrieve
C
Assembler for PC
COBOL
DBase III
BASIC
APL (read only, didn't have to write any)
Rexx
Prolog
C++
Java
Pascal (Delphi)
Javascript
C#
VB
Some of these, such as Pascal and COBOL, I learned in college but didn't use professionally until much later. I learned several versions of Basic (on various micros) before I used it professionally. So remember, only those languages used to make a living count, not ones you learned at university or used at home on some PC or other.
Which ones have you used?
- I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
modified 9-Dec-13 14:56pm.
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Fortran (not sure what version; VAX/VMS environment from 1986 to 2005)
C (also, VAX/VMS or Alpha/VMS environment)
VB 6 through VB.NET 2010
SQLServer 2000 through 2008 (if you consider taht a language)
I have used C#, but have not written code in it.
Tim
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I see you worked a lot on DEC machines, I really miss em I thought they were awesome!
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I miss the simplicity as well... cereal manufacturing and data collection and then the same with paper manufacturing.
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I did some client/server solutions, Power plants; nuclear and garbage, water treatment plants, auto industry,...yes it was a simpler time!
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