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See, even when I'm sober no one believes me.
It's enough to drive a man to drink...
speramus in juniperus
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So let me get this - your work force is made up of long term unemployed drinkers. Your organisation should be eligible for some kind of award from the Dept of Industry.
Peter Wasser
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
Frank Zappa
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What are you talking about?
That is the Dept of Industry!
The only instant messaging I do involves my middle finger.
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That's Replacement MQOTD...
A: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like?
B: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork.
C: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.
There you go gents...
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Leslie Nielsen in Reinventing The Wheel. 
If there is one thing more dangerous than getting between a bear and her cubs it's getting between my wife and her chocolate.
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Hm MQOTD is involved with author rights and you don't have right to use the name or similar to it in any kind except if your nick is V.
Microsoft ... the only place where VARIANT_TRUE != true
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Hey! Portsmouth's not that bad!
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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As it happens there is a town south of here called Portsmouth,
so I thought of that first.
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I stood, Chamberlain like, with a piece of paper in my hand.
I argued for restraint but no answer was forthcoming so this household has now entered civil war.
The piece of paper in question was the Gas Bill.
Michelle put the central heating on last night.
I then turned it off and handed her a jumper.
Words were exchanged and so the annual "Let's see who is going to win" battle of the Central Heating is re-engaged.
I said it is not to go on until at least 1st October and she complains of being cold.
It will be a fraught fortnight as we battle each other.
Then, once the heating has been turned on it will be a series of 'Rotational Skirmishes' as she dials clockwise and I dial anticlockwise on the thermostat.
Women have no concept of cost.
I pointed out that she spends a lot of money on clothes so she should perhaps consider wearing some of them!
To be continued, ad nauseum, until March 2014.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Dalek Dave wrote: I pointed out that she spends a lot of money on clothes so she should perhaps consider wearing some of them!
Come bedtime, she shall remind you of that.
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At bedtime she shall have a fat teddy bear to keep her warm!
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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I am rooting for you, but you already handed her a jumper, so she might not need anything else from you tonight.
Soren Madsen
"When you don't know what you're doing it's best to do it quickly" - Jase #DuckDynasty
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SoMad wrote: I am rooting for you
He's probably hoping to be able to do his own r... oh, never mind.
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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ChrisElston wrote: do his own r... oh, never mind.
race?
riddle?
rooting?
running?
revolution?
rolling?
reason?
Am I getting close? 
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What if his wife has a reason[#3]
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I don't know who added that as an idiomatic use of "reason", but it's not; that's just politeness.
You'll never hear a woman say "I've got my reasons, this week".
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Mark_Wallace wrote: I don't know who added that as an idiomatic use of "reason",
I bet you it was a guy that is single (for a reason it seems) 
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Dalek Dave wrote: At bedtime she shall have a fat teddy bear to keep her warm!
is that what you call it these days?
B
MCAD
---
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There was an article on the BBC earlier in the week about 'when is it time to put the heating on'.
One of the points made is that women feel the cold more than men, something to do with oestrogen and how blood is carried to the outer bits of the body.
So my question is, are women to blame for the obscene profits of the energy companies and the rapid decline in the availability of fossil fuels?
“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.” Bill Hicks
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Anecdotal Evidence suggests that this is indeed the case.
---------------------------------
Obscurum per obscurius.
Ad astra per alas porci.
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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Personal observations back you up.
My SO is always cold unless the temp is above 76 (24 or so for the rest of the planet). I start complaining of how hot it is when the mercury reaches 73 (23C). So you can see the problem which occurs...
Both of us are sneaking to mess with the temp control. Most of the time she wins during the day. I always win at night. This is due to the fact that I become a very active sleeper when I get too warm and it is getting difficult to explain random bruises to people. 
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As I am home all day, 'tis I who normally gives in first. But the good part is only I have the secret knowledge of "How To Set The Bloody Digital Thermastat Buggery Box To Switch On" [Left button twice then set to /on/]
speramus in juniperus
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