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This is perhaps the KSS version of some COBOL I once had to maintain.
PERFORM PUSH_UP_ROUTINE
UNTIL POOPED.
Only the paragraph had nothing to do with stacks or queues and the 88 Level had something to do with satisfaction. 
Chris Meech
I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar]
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra]
posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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I'm mean, from a programmer's point of view, isn't VB Programming the same thing?
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Hey I love myself with the negatives and positive I am binary but also believe in my parents...to be continued.
Kyriakos (aluooss)
Kyriakos
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Carelessly Create Contemptuous comments?
In general, I presume I'm the only person who'll ever want to read them - and I'm much to important revered adored to be subject to irreverent prose.
Conversely, should someone else happen upon an Endless Epiphany of Expletives of My Making, there's the distinct possibility of being held accountable.
So, common sense demands that one not &$($ around (in writing) with this %$#()$
| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error." - Weisert | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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Simple no.
***** Programme comme si dept soutien technique. est plein de tueurs en série et ils savent adresse de votre domicile. *****
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but I dont. Nor do I use what can only be described as vile filth to make up people's names in test data, like I saw a company who was doing a poc for us 15 years ago do ... lets just say they didnt get the gig and (not just because of us) went out of business shortly thereafter. They tried to blame the data on a staff member who as they put it, was slightly mentally handicapped - it didnt wash !
'g'
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I am usually an irreverent trouble making SOB but when it comes to work and code for work I usually try to be professional in all that I do. I do not cuss or use potty talk in my code even though the F word is my favorite word and is used on a daily basis in the presence of users.
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Just along for the ride.
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You write G rated code? Bullshit!
"I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. "
— Hunter S. Thompson
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I write G rated code. However, what it does is some totally hardcore sh!t. 
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Just along for the ride.
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That's when I cuss unless I've had some BACON.
All other comments are full on expletives.
Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done.
Drink. Get drunk. Fall over - P O'H
OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre
I cannot live by bread alone. Bacon and ketchup are needed as well. - Trollslayer
Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb - they're often *students*, for heaven's sake - Terry Pratchett
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... I occasionally point out that someone who did something really terrible should be thrown out of the guild in disgrace and, depending on the severity of the case, be chased out of town, tarred and feathered or drowned in the local river? Of course I also leave the original code in the comment, so that everyone can see that this is justified.
"I just exchanged opinions with my boss. I went in with mine and came out with his." - me, 2011
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I am endeavoring, Madam, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins - Mr. Spock 1935 and me 2011
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When developing and testing I often use swear words in temp messageboxes
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I used to.
Right until I did a demo of some new functionality I was developing to some key IT people in the business, an Italian, a Dutchman, the rest English.
Showing the new printing system I was implementing (printing had been a complete pita in the existing system), clicked the button and up popped a document saying "F*&$ off, you c&*!".
Fortunately they were so impressed by the functionality they didn't mind the abusiveness on the projector.
Actually, I say used to, still do at times. Especially when getting frustrated, limited to message boxes now, usually saying ARSE, occasionally saying work you b@st3rd.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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That is the concern but if I swear in the messageboxes I am doubly keen to get rid of them - I have never had a swear messagebox show up during a demo but I have had non swear debugging messageboxes pop up.
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The existing system was built using a framework that put a help icon on every screen. Clicking any of those buttons popped up a message saying something along the lines of no help available.
When creating a new screen I changed the standard text to RTFM.
This was released and nothing more was heard until a couple of months later someone phoned up to complain.
This at least helped me with my argument with those in charge that at least some users would try to use a help system if it was implemented before phoning us up.
Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.
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Weird users you have there - a help system and they used it? Whoever heard of such a thing?
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I had a user once who would have phoned for the same. Not because he read the help. He clicked everywhere and made lists of everything that he did not like. Then he would forward memo after memo to the CEO to complain about the system. CEO later knew that he moans for the sake of it...
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Some people aren't happy unless they are moaning
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And don't make me do it. You'll regret!  
-
Just that something can be done, doesn't mean it should be done. Respect developers and their efforts!
Jk
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Not as an afront to other developer's. More as a comment of frustration - typically when having to code around e.g. an API not working as documented, or code working around bugs in other systems. They also serve a purpose to prevent future developers (myself included) removing such workarounds in favour of the "clear" approach that failed originally.
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Does "Bugged like hell." count?
I tend to mark things as "Depracted" during tests and use "Bugged like hell" as a description (when applicable), I know it's the wrong way but it's the way it gets the attention it deserves.
My colleagues notice the description and start asking questions to the one responsible, if he marked it as 'finished' that is.
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I have never seen it done and wouldn't think to do it: utterly pointless and childish. I may curse like an old navy salt but in code? Why would anyone bother to do that?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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Have you ever tried to fix a program without any structure? Real spaghetti code? Often everything is so mixed up with all the rest that you can't really do anything at all except throwing the whole mass away and writing a new program.
In such cases I often had to do terrible things myself to keep the program running and, usually unlike the heroes who caused the mess in the first place, leave a comment to let those who come after me know why I did what I had to do. And perhaps a note about why the programmer who caused all the trouble is a disgrace to our craft.
The first part of the comment may be helpful to someone later, the second part just makes me feel better. I could just as well post it in the code horrors section, but my bosses would not let me do that. Recently I retired a web application which could be posted there completely. I did not find one single thing that I could live with. Can you really blame me for wanting to drown the guy who wrote it in the river?
"I just exchanged opinions with my boss. I went in with mine and came out with his." - me, 2011
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I am endeavoring, Madam, to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins - Mr. Spock 1935 and me 2011
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CDP1802 wrote: Have you ever tried to fix a program without any structure? Real spaghetti code? Often everything is so mixed up with all the rest that you can't really do anything at all except throwing the whole mass away and writing a new program.
Blimey!!! How did you know??? It's what I've spent most of the morning doing. Fortunately the chap (who is in India) is still with us so I am talking him through writing some proper code.
CDP1802 wrote: Can you really blame me for wanting to drown the guy who wrote it in the river?
However annoyed with him I am I just can't see the point in adding childish or unhelpful comments to the code: surely that would reflect badly on me rather than anyone else?
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur." Red Adair.
nils illegitimus carborundum
me, me, me
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