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#SupportHeForShe
Government can give you nothing but what it takes from somebody else. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you've got, including your freedom.-Ezra Taft Benson
You must accept 1 of 2 basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not alone. Either way, the implications are staggering!-Wernher von Braun
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Someone who keeps some kind of tally and owns a whacker? 
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Yes, and if that does not works we can also get some chains and overseers with whips 
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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You might be on to something.. get off it quick! 
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Dang, my last project management courses were in Egypt. We got some nice pyramids built back then.
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Great comment, and appreciated by one who eats dogfood! My company is so small that I provide frontline customer support and training for anything I develop. It's way different when your goal becomes to minimize phone calls/remotes/interruptions! I do think you wind up with better software in the end when devs interact with end users at some level.
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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Thanks and I totally agree with you on your comment, especially...
kmoorevs wrote: It's way different when your goal becomes to minimize phone calls/remotes/interruptions!
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It's surprising how streamlined an application UI can become when the programmer has to use the application often.
if (Object.DividedByZero == true) { Universe.Implode(); }
Meus ratio ex fortis machina. Simplicitatis de formae ac munus. -Foothill, 2016
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Foothill wrote: It's surprising how streamlined an application UI can become when the programmer has to use the application often.
That is a fantastic point and so very true. Great stuff!
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If you are Agile then this should be brought up and addressed in the sprint retrospective meeting.
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It is.. every retrospective is the same: "why did we only deliver x points when we committed to [much bigger] y at the start?"
My answer's the same every time, but the next day we start the same process again.. 
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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160 points were promised but only 40 delivered
OK - so now your velocity is 40, which means you cannot promise more than 40 in your next sprint.
Then - if that gets done, slowly increase the velocity to towards your target.
Also - use customer value to choose the most impactful 40 points and deliver them first. Don't make the stuff that delivers real value wait for the HiPPO driven requirements.
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Duncan Edwards Jones wrote: OK - so now your velocity is 40, which means you cannot promise more than 40 in your next sprint.
In theory that's correct. In reality it means little more than delivering a checkbox and a text field on a page..
15 developers, 2 weeks, personally I'd expect more.
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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In my opinion, 15 developers is far too many. I'd suggest you work out how you could do a velocity of 20 with 2 developers, then cut your project into independent chunks of 20-ness.*
(*20 arbitrarily chosen to define the point)
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Duncan Edwards Jones wrote: In my opinion, 15 developers is far too many.
It is.. our morning stand-up takes forever and covers a lot of stuff irrelevant to many in the team. Most places I've worked at I've been in teams of 1-6, and they worked much better.
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Whomever is responsible for the 'team' or 'project' needs to define priorities and timelines.
If they are not being met, a determination needs to be made as to why and what the consequences are of not meeting the timelines: the project is not completed which results in lost revenue which can result is staff reduction for example.
If that person is you, address it with your management and ask what 'corrective' actions can be taken.
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Unfortunately it is not me. It'd be a different team if I were responsible for it.
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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As others have said, throw out Agile (and unit testing, huge waste of time mostly.)
The problem with sprints is that they are essentially developer driven. Go back to good 'ol management 101:
- Here's the features we need
- Here's the timeline and dependencies for each feature (remember Ghantt charts?)
- Missing the deadline will result in reprimand, pay reduction, or being terminated.
It's time for the kiddies in diapers learning to ride bicycles with training wheels to grow up. 
Marc
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In my opinion unit testing is a benefit to a project once it gets into maintenance and new features start getting added. I think the main problem is you see people unit testing brain-dead functions with every conceivable input so the unit test takes 10x longer to write than the function itself. Unit test at the first level things can actually go wrong.
Seems like the main problem here is the team is breaking all the big no-no's. Premature refactoring (when the code is already "clean"), premature optimization, and using a development paradigm the team isn't familiar with (TDD).
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Jon McKee wrote: In my opinion unit testing is a benefit to a project once it gets into maintenance and new features start getting added.
Absolutely! In fact, 110% agreement with everything you said.
Marc
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Jon McKee wrote: I think the main problem is you see people unit testing brain-dead functions with every conceivable input so the unit test takes 10x longer to write than the function itself.
Yep, we've got that (and I've brought it up many, many times).
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Brent Jenkins wrote: On top of that, we've got developers going in changing working code simply because they think it should be done differently (in their opinion, better).
This could be the reason why things are behind. Agile is about delivering new features on a regular basis, not refactoring code because someone doesn't like it. If code needs refactoring it should be a backlog item that is added to a sprint.
If it's not broken, fix it until it is.
Everything makes sense in someone's mind.
Ya can't fix stupid.
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Kevin Marois wrote: Agile is about delivering new features on a regular basis, not refactoring code because someone doesn't like it. If code needs refactoring it should be a backlog item that is added to a sprint.
That's a good point.. I'll use that in the next meeting 
Ah, I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favorite. You see we lease it back from the company we sold it to and that way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Brent Jenkins wrote: so I'm working with a team that's (relatively) young
Brent Jenkins wrote: unit tests written up front
I am not a big fan of test driven development, sounds good on paper, but it is shite in reality.
Also, I don't like working with a bunch of relatively young people. Been there, done that, f***ing nightmare and a half.
In summary, run to the hills, run for your life.
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