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A Greek philosopher attempts to walk into the bar, but although he gets ever closer to the door never reaches it.
A German philosopher walks into a bar, and the bar walks into him.
Three redneck philosophers walk into a bar, the fourth ducks.
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, weighing all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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A cat walks into the bar, it's unsure what happens next.
signature upgrade failed. Please contact our support department during office hours and quote this number: ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://www.codeproject.com/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif)
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This baby seal walks into a club...
I'll get my coat.
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Quote: Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed
--- Monty Python - The Philosophers Song
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Can a true philosopher step into the same bar twice?
... such stuff as dreams are made on
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By mistake, a Scottish philosopher* walks into a bar, driven by passion not reason.
* Sorry - I just can't help it; as an old VB programmer I was always taught that on error raise Hume next ..
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A dyslectic philosopher walked into a bra.
Bastard Programmer from Hell 
If you can't read my code, try converting it here[^]
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An Italian philosopher walks into a bar, he orders an espresso.
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
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An existential philosopher walks into an existential bar.
The barman says: "We're out of everything."
The philosopher says: "I'll have nothing, neat."
«While I complain of being able to see only a shadow of the past, I may be insensitive to reality as it is now, since I'm not at a stage of development where I'm capable of seeing it. A few hundred years later another traveler despairing as myself, may mourn the disappearance of what I may have seen, but failed to see.» Claude Levi-Strauss (Tristes Tropiques, 1955)
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A philosopher walked into the bar, and the bar got raised.
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at work. With a "slim" docking station. What an utter POS. How can this company be selling such crap and still make profit is beyond me.
I want my lenovo back.
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That's a very subjective opinion without substance.
Tell us instead why it sucks.
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The last three laptops that I bought (in 2005, 2011, and last year) were all HP products. They each served (and are serving) me long and well - my 2016 purchase is still going strong as a laptop, and my 2011 purchase is being used with a 24" screen as a desktop.
Could it be that their "business" models are less ruggedized than their "home" models?
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Maybe he should check, inside - probably a lenovo knockoff of an HP laptop.
| Ravings en masse^ |
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| "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you are seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
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The lenovo T series business lappies OK - know a few hard core travellers that use them no problems, the others though are garbarge.
signature upgrade failed. Please contact our support department during office hours and quote this number: ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif)
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My current laptop (bought in 2015) is a HP and I'm very satisfied with it, especially after replacing the spinner with a SSD. What exactly do you mean by 'crap'?
The one thing I dislike about HP is the amount of preinstalled crapware, but that's easily fixed...and they all do it. 
"Go forth into the source" - Neal Morse
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I've had some hp laptops one IBM and two Lenovo.
IBM and Lenovo are the best laptops I've got in my hands HP have always failed miserably on their battery and motherboard.
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For a very long time now, HP's had a reputation for putting together bad hardware, but lately I keep reading that they've gotten a lot better. I have nothing to back this up with myself however.
...and now that I'm re-reading your message, it's not entirely clear whether you meant the docking station is crap, or the laptop as well.
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I had an HP PC and a laptop. The PC was ridicolously overpriced: 700€ for a Pentium 4 when Core Duo were much more affordable, with a Korean motherboard produced by a company that failed after producing only that mobo (no other hardware) and a flimsy case and power supply.
The laptop died after a year, also ridicolously overpriced.
Before you start telling me: I did not buy them, my father did while insulting me and my knowledge when I tried to dissuade him.
* CALL APOGEE, SAY AARDWOLF
* GCS d--- s-/++ a- C++++ U+++ P- L- E-- W++ N++ o+ K- w+++ O? M-- V? PS+ PE- Y+ PGP t++ 5? X R++ tv-- b+ DI+++ D++ G e++>+++ h--- ++>+++ y+++* Weapons extension: ma- k++ F+2 X
* Never pay more than 20 bucks for a computer game.
* I'm a puny punmaker.
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Rage wrote: How can this company be selling such crap and still make profit is beyond me.
It's pretty simple, really -- because people keep purchasing them.
"One man's wage rise is another man's price increase." - Harold Wilson
"Fireproof doesn't mean the fire will never come. It means when the fire comes that you will be able to withstand it." - Michael Simmons
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him." - James D. Miles
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go for hp mobile workstations
[^]
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For the light-weight I add the right software scribe. (10)
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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OriginalGriff wrote: For the light-weight I add the right software scribe. (10)
First thought lightsaber.
Michael Martin
Australia
"I controlled my laughter and simple said "No,I am very busy,so I can't write any code for you". The moment they heard this all the smiling face turned into a sad looking face and one of them farted. So I had to leave the place as soon as possible."
- Mr.Prakash One Fine Saturday. 24/04/2004
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Has Anyone Seen Mike Hunt wrote: First Wrong thought lightsaber.
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
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Levitation?
ton = weight
ton + I = tion
vi = software scribe
leta... no idea...
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