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I'm not allowed to talk about my club.
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Wrong. You're not allowed to admit that there is a club let alone that it can be 'yours'. The specially selected punishment squad which may or may not exist may or may not be on its way to administer the necessary disciplinary measures (or not).
I am not a number. I am a ... no, wait!
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We apply this[^] philosophy in Krav Maga. The underlying ideal is "in a situation where conflict cannot be avoided, after all other avenues have been exhausted, leave your opponent unwilling or unable to continue". If you look at the Krav Maga stances, the main "stances" are none confrontational. First we have hands by our sides - this is a neutral pose that can easily move to the second stance, both hands raised to put a barrier between you and your opponent - again, it's a defusing stance but it can quickly move to the third stance which just flows into defending yourself. Then again, Krav Maga is not a martial art in the classic sense, it's a defensive art.
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Pete O'Hanlon wrote: Krav Maga is not a martial art in the classic sense, it's a defensive art.
Yeah? I hear that it's bullshit[^] 
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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Opinionated fellow isn't he?
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Indeed 
But he did make one interesting point, and it's good to know that you do Krav Maga. So now I know whom to contact if I should be in need of girl scout cookies...
Just joking of course!
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
Anonymous
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The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine
Winston Churchill, 1944
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I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Me, all the time
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I think most martial arts would classify themselves as defensive. With few aggressive exceptions.
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Having done more than a few martial arts in my time, Krav is the only one that I found that actually does let you defend yourself. In my first lesson, the instructor found out I used to do Muay Thai - he had done that as well, so as a demonstration he asked me to fight with him Muay style. I was pleased to see that I held my own against him trading blows. After a couple of minutes, he asked me to do it again but this time he would defend himself using Krav Maga. I remember moving in and I remember hitting the floor hard - the bit in the middle was a blur. A very painful blur.
When you consider that this is what the likes of Mossad and the Israeli army learn, you can see that it's designed to be practical rather than art.
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Every martial art was at some point used in "real world" - jujutsu was samurai unarmed (and otherwise) combat skill - it is only today that it is unarmed and limited with rules and codified.
Ninjutsu is still very martial, but less practical today simply because...well..age. What is now wrestling was roman pancratium, unarmed (and otherwise) combat skill of gladiators and roman legionnaires.
Krav Maga is the only one used in modern days with modern weapons due to the fact it was used recently in real conflicts. I would expect it to be real and dangerous. Look at Fight Quest series if you can find it, there is one on Krav Maga in which guy admits he was scared of dying fighting a girl half his size. 
I would also expect that US marines or UK SAS members could do the same to you simply due the training they receive.
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Sinisa Hajnal wrote: ook at Fight Quest series if you can find it, there is one on Krav Maga in which guy admits he was scared of dying fighting a girl half his size.
I have seen it. Actually, there are a few great series on YouTube that show various martial arts - Krav generally comes across well. The core tenet of Krav, and why it is successful, is that it emphasises that moves should not require fine motor skills which disappear when the adrenaline is pumping. More importantly, you always train to complete the moves so that they become instinctive. There's no disarming an opponent and then handing the weapon back - you disarm them and you take them down.
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How do you pronounce Krav Maga?...I've heard short Krav and then accent on GA with long a at the end:
Krav Ma-GHAa...I've heard simple (short) Krav MA-gha (with accent on Ma).
What would be correct?
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You know, I've never really given this much attention. In the club, I guess we all use the first version - but now I'm going to have to listen hard to see if I'm mistaken. Thanks for messing with my mind.
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In Hebrew, it's pronounced Krav Ma-GHA (accent on the second syllable).
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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Thank you. That was my understanding too, but I didn't want to prejudice the answer. In my country, the words are (very big majority) commonly accented on the first syllable and that is how I hear it now and then in martial arts discussions. But one guy I actually know practices Krav Maga gives it accent on the last
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Only in civilian life. Using martial arts in an unprovoked attack (or using what the law calls "excessive force" to defend yourself) will get you in trouble in most jurisdictions. However, a warrior might find offensive techniques to be very useful.
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
--Winston Churchill
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I didn't say there aren't offensive moves, just that most unarmed arts today are defensive with offense being pepper sprays, tazers and guns. If you practice Muay Thai for example, even in self defense you will probably hurt the assailant if you're not careful. On the other hand, average Aikido practitioner would probably get beaten up due to less applicative skill in combat (no disparagment meant, it is great art and I practiced it some years ago - it is just not combat effective unless you are a master).
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In the native American martial art 'Fo 'Shoo we use the bi-cycle framework.
The front-wheel, the "Medicine Wheel," is invoked by the mantra "please, don't hit me." But, getting this right is not as easy as it sounds. You have to learn to find your inner voice of abject self-pity, and develop it. The katas "lament," "moan," "whimper," and "whine," are all "spokes" on this wheel.
The back-wheel, the "Survival Wheel," symbolizes strategic retreat, camouflage, disguise, running-away, avoiding conflict.
There are numerous practices to cultivate a strong and perfectly rounded back-wheel, including reciting self-affirmations like:
"I don't have the money."
"Let me get back to you, on that."
"But, I know where you can get the money."
"Here, take these drugs."
«In art as in science there is no delight without the detail ... Let me repeat that unless these are thoroughly understood and remembered, all “general ideas” (so easily acquired, so profitably resold) must necessarily remain but worn passports allowing their bearers short cuts from one area of ignorance to another.» Vladimir Nabokov, commentary on translation of “Eugene Onegin.”
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I just had a "I am callings you about your computer" virus scammer on the phone. It was too much fun.
I am sure not one response came out of my mouth without at least two from F* C* B* W* plus a few choice Hungarianisms referring to God's Horse, its appendage, and what it should do to him and where. A sailor would've blushed. MM would've blushed!
I have not had 15 minutes of pure unadulterated fun like that since the banned pauper baiting.
Eejit: What is your computer name?
Me: If you're such a [REDACTED] clever [REDACTED], why don't you [REDACTED] tell me?
Eejit: It is called 'windowscomputer'
Me: No you [REDACTED], it [REDACTED] is not called wondows [REDACTED] computer.
Me: Come on you SFB, what's the [REDACTED] MAC address you [REDACTED] son of W?
Eejit: It is 127.0.0.1
Me: You [REDACTED] moron, that's the [REDACTED] local host loopback [REDACTED] IP address, not the [REDACTED] MAC address, do you not know what a [REDACTED] MAC address is you [REDACTED]?
Eejit: You have a Windows computer
[...]
The conversation went on like this until Eejit finally hung up on me. I wonder why?
veni bibi saltavi
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I find that "can you just stay on the line while I interface with your company payroll system?"
Followed by copious typing and muttering about easy passwords, account numbers, and such like gets rid of them pretty quickly...
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I was shocked that he didn't hang up immediately as when I realised what the call was I gave him a direct FOAD. Twice.
But he persevered so I decided to see how obscene I could get and the answer was very.
veni bibi saltavi
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"If it's not in your script, just start again from the top"
Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...
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I had one like that.
He called me "a [REDACTED] smart-[REDACTED]"
I said "I may be a [REDACTED] smart-[REDACTED], but you are still a [REDACTED] scammer!"
He took the hint at that point (he had persisted for 15 minutes).
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Oooh, I need to try that one... Wish I got these kind of calls...
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That'd require letting unknown numbers not go direct to voicemail. 
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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It is unfair...I never had the opportunity for such pleasure...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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