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The Vogon administrative mill has set into motion...
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So, a second hand 1.44 MB floppy drive [without disks] will be with you in 3 and half years.
veni bibi saltavi
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A couple of years ago we had a major outage that effected the business for a couple of days, I can't remember exactly which bit of kit it was, but we had two of them, chatting away, if one of them failed then the other would keep us working so we could get it fixed.
That was the theory anyway.
So a component failed in one, it was able to tell its mate what the problem was as it shut down.
It's mate thought to itself "I don't want that to happen to me" and shut down too.
Whenever we brought the second back up it said "Bugger off, I don't want to die" and shut down again.
I didn't think that was a wonderful piece of design.
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I love the certainty in the message: "...expected in less than 24 hours."
Would have been nice to have given you guys that message, maybe, 24 days ago.
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So we have it like 2 years and every half a year someone pops-up to check if everything is in order...Yesterday it was the first time I was in office when he came to inspect - he had only one comment: 'coffee is good here'...
Now you can imagine how good ISO is ...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Coffee inspection according to ISO2058666, what did you expect?
The language is JavaScript. that of Mordor, which I will not utter here
This is Javascript. If you put big wheels and a racing stripe on a golf cart, it's still a f***ing golf cart.
"I don't know, extraterrestrial?"
"You mean like from space?"
"No, from Canada."
If software development were a circus, we would all be the clowns.
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Well imagine what would have happened if coffee was bad ?
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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If coffee was bad , they will not come again anymore .
நெஞ்சு பொறுக்கு திலையே-இந்த
நிலைகெட்ட மனிதரை நினைந்துவிட்டால்
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The inspector would have left even earlier and wouldn't come back so soon?
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. — Lyall Watson
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To both of you
He would not recertify your company !
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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Last I checked, coffee quality wasn't one of the ISO 9000 criteria - though it wouldn't surprise me
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. — Lyall Watson
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I assumed following equation:
Coffee + ISOGuy = Recertification
Coffee =^ good
=> good + ISOGuy = good ISO GUy => Recertification > 0 && Recertification < 1
Now two cases:
bad mood <= ISO Guy <= good mood
Coffee = bad => ISO Guy ^= bad mood => Recertifaction = -1
Coffee = good => ISO Guy ^= good mood => Recertification = 1
See what i mean?
if(this.signature != "")
{
MessageBox.Show("This is my signature: " + Environment.NewLine + signature);
}
else
{
MessageBox.Show("404-Signature not found");
}
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You're missing one input parameter there. Let me put it this way:
Your ISO 9000 compliance sucks: You better have good coffee
Your ISO 9000 compliance is alright: You can serve him a gnat's piss
Your fixation on the coffee parameter makes me suspicious about your ISO 9000 compliance
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. — Lyall Watson
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Sascha Lefèvre wrote: Your ISO 9000 compliance sucks: You better have good coffee
Your ISO 9000 compliance is alright: You can serve him a gnat's piss better have good coffee FTFY
To be ISO compliant you have to fill a lot - really lot - of papers during work. When they told us that we have to work with ISO I told they have two options: me or the paperwork. I have far to much work (including paperwork) to add more, useless, to it...So I wrote a small application that fakes all the paperwork you ever need for ISO
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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I see... then how about this iteration:
Your ISO 9000 compliance is alright: You can serve him a gnat's piss and keep the good coffee for yourself
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. — Lyall Watson
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Things are changing...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Quote: highly skilled liars That's the reason my boss don't want me around - he afraid I will tell my opinion about the ISO person
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Why do I get the feeling he omitted the 'Atleast ...'
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Wrong! There was no 'atleast' - he didn't got out of the coffee corner...
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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That's actually sad to hear, we're ISO certified as well and every time we renew our certification people are really getting nervy. The guy is pretty good at finding faults.
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That's exactly pissed me off - so we pay for you to keep us inside boundaries (as for whatever reason we are unable to do so by ourself (and customers do not believe us anyway)), and you come around to drink coffee!!!
Skipper: We'll fix it.
Alex: Fix it? How you gonna fix this?
Skipper: Grit, spit and a whole lotta duct tape.
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Kornfeld Eliyahu Peter wrote: he had only one comment: 'coffee is good here'...
Did you see him carrying a rather heavy briefcase on his way out?
At least it's not as obvious a scam as "The Guild of Master Craftsmen"
How do you know so much about swallows? Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
modified 31-Aug-21 21:01pm.
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Just out of interest, how many of you dear friends are using some sort of agile process (scrum etc.) in your working lives?
What method(s) are you using?
What tools are you using?
Like it/ Love it / Hate it
Tried it/ditched it?
PooperPig - Coming Soon
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I use Agile in the following ways:
1. on waking whenever I beat the crap out of myself mercilessly for every single stupid thing I've done until I no longer remember any stupid things I have done.
2. if I find myself starting to feel like I've accomplished something, I call a Scrum and reduce myself to tears as my other personalities tear my little ounce of pride to bits.
3. Friends ? dear Friends ? who's got time for those when there's code to write ?
4. the tools I use are memories, hallucinations, dreams, fantasies, reveries, and any other mental state I can get the lasso of awareness around and bull-dog.
5. I do use one "physical" device: a mirror painted black.
cheers, Bill
«I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center» Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
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