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You know, in most countries, that kind of crap usually doesn't happen. There might be some friendly humor when you're new, but certainly not obscene comments.
Perhaps you should think about whether you're happy with the culture of your country.
Marc
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I assume you are from India. And I am little surprised you had to go through this. It seems some pages of the incident is missing.
Nitin Sawant wrote: First random co-workers passed obscene comments which I ignored as I was new joinee,
Define Obscene? I am sure it was some humor or jokes which you don't like.
Nitin Sawant wrote: After that I'm being ostracized at workplace - going solo for lunch, snacks, coffee etc.
Are they deliberately avoiding you or they assume you are a loner. Did you make any attempt to join them? Lets say made an initiative to forge some small talk.
Nitin Sawant wrote: Again I ignored it, I felt tremendous mental trauma and somehow I completed 1 yrs at the organization as it is one of the top IT company.
If this you claim is correct that its the top IT company, what did you do to address this issue. Sid you talk with your lead or manager ???
Nitin Sawant wrote: Now I resigned and random co-workers are defaming me.
what does defaming means? you have resigned and then who are these co-workers?
Nitin Sawant wrote: Even when I go for interview at random company some people wearing black clothes come and do sledging.
This is total BS. Its hard to believe that people are making effort to track you and make your life hard.
cheers,
Super
------------------------------------------
Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
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I'm not sure whether Asperger is a western world phenomenon or world-wide, but it COULD sound like the OP has got a touch of that. That could explain a lot of things actually...
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant Anonymous
- The problem with quotes on the internet is that you can never tell if they're genuine Winston Churchill, 1944
- I'd just like a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Me, all the time
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Having Asperger & Osctracized are totally different
Being Asperger: Person avoiding the group
Being Ostracized: Group purposefully or unknowingly avoiding a person
asperger may have developed after being ostracized
=====================================================
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
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Like most Indians I've met, I think you're too f*ckin sensitive.
Cowboy up. Retreating is for pussies.
Now that I've given you the best advice I can give, tell us the WHOLE story.
Do you bathe regularly (and I not talking about swishing around in the Ganges river for a couple of minutes)?
Do you have inconveniently positioned facial features?
Does your code suck balls?
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Do you bathe regularly (and I not talking about swishing around in the Ganges river for a couple of minutes)?
Is this not kind of racist? I don't get the context .
John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote: Does your code suck balls?
cheers,
Super
------------------------------------------
Too much of good is bad,mix some evil in it
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re: bathing
that is not racist for elephanting sake! It might stereotyping a culture but it's not racist.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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Yeah, everyone that feels slighted and claims racism is probably in the middle of looking for a "safe place".
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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For some reason every time one of them goes on ranting about safe spaces I hear Governor Wallace thundering from the podium: "In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say safe spaces now, safe spaces tomorrow, safe spaces forever."
Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, waging all things in the balance of reason?
Is not rather the genius of history like an eternal, imploring maiden, full of fire, with a burning heart and flaming soul, humanly warm and humanly beautiful?
--Zachris Topelius
Training a telescope on one’s own belly button will only reveal lint. You like that? You go right on staring at it. I prefer looking at galaxies.
-- Sarah Hoyt
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It's a rather offensive stereotype but unfortunately something all brown people (including American citizens) have to live with. I don't think people who say that are being intentionally racist. Nor do I think they actually believe that all Indians avoid showers and smell bad. It's sorta like how people joke about Americans all being obese or how the Irish love portraying themselves as alcoholics. Mostly meant in humor
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I was just going to say "Hire JSOP for a week", but it appears he is giving his consulting time for free.
Sledging is not the same as sleighing. In fact, I have no idea what sledging is, perhaps OP can explain the term?
Next, how do they follow you around to interviews? That borders an asking for a knuckle sandwich - they're taking away the ability to feed your family.
Charlie Gilley
<italic>Stuck in a dysfunctional matrix from which I must escape...
"Where liberty dwells, there is my country." B. Franklin, 1783
“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” BF, 1759
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charlieg wrote: I have no idea what sledging is, perhaps OP can explain the term? It's a common cricket term where a player looks to make another player screw up by abusing them verbally and mentally.
This space for rent
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A cricket term ain't exactly "well known" in the U.S.
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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That's why I was happy to explain it.
This space for rent
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Yes, I can see that could be a bit of a sticky wicket.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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I personally try to say away from anything sticky that I didn't make sticky myself...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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That's fine, as long as there's no ball tampering -- we wouldn't want to get stuck in that kind of cabbage patch; it's a situation where playing dibbly-dobbly is probably preferable.
Um, yes, I am speaking English...
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
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Every human being has emotions and is sensitive...
When you see Tom Hanks crying in the movie Cast Away,
you will say
Retreating is for pussies??
=====================================================
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
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Nitin Sawant wrote: sober introvert As opposed to a drunken introvert? I know about drunken introverts, the drummer in my band is one.
Nitin Sawant wrote: people wearing black clothes I had an interview like that once, only it wasn't for a job. But I did tell them about some lizard people I met in New Mexico. They weren't too rude though and I never saw them again after that.
Seriously though, have you considered that you may be overreacting somewhat. You may be under the misguided impression that you garner more attention than what other people really do for someone they barely know.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Namaste, Sri Nitin (or Vannakkam, or Namaskaram, if you wish),
I'm sorry your post is being used as an excuse to make racist slurs on India by our resident bigot(s) !
Until you got to the part about "people wearing black clothes," I was following you, but, that part makes me wonder if this post is a joke. If you really are experiencing defamation by "people in black" showing up at "random" job interviews, then, I think you need psychiatric help. However, you've been on CodeProject for nine years, and have published one article, which suggests to me you may be (at least partly) serious, here.
But, here's a question (assuming you're not joking): when you are at one of these interviews, do the people at the company see the "people in black" ?
Sounds like you became a scapegoat at your one-year job, but one would need to know much more than that about what happened to make any reasonable hypothesis.
People in groups take on "roles," and, typically, there is no "equilibrium of social justice;" certain individuals will get much more attention, and social power, than others; some individuals may become "rejection stars," shunned for whatever reasons. The greater the stress and conflict in the group, the more roles tend to be "pushed" toward extremes of behavior, and perception. Of course, individual traits and personality styles come into play here, as well as basic human drives for power and dominance.
Let me know how you are doing, and, if you are not joking, I'll send you a message that you can reply to with a private e-mail address, if you wish some counselling (I am, formerly, an accredited psychiatric social worker).
best wishes, Bill
«There is a spectrum, from "clearly desirable behaviour," to "possibly dodgy behavior that still makes some sense," to "clearly undesirable behavior." We try to make the latter into warnings or, better, errors. But stuff that is in the middle category you don’t want to restrict unless there is a clear way to work around it.» Eric Lippert, May 14, 2008
modified 16-Sep-16 11:40am.
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BillWoodruff wrote: People in groups take on "roles," and, typically, there is no "equilibrium of social justice;" certain individuals will get much more attention, and social power, than others; some individuals may become "rejection stars," shunned for whatever reasons
Tell me about it. Although, I think people are generally just afraid of me. It might be the intense wild-eyed stares I give when they say something absurd/stupid, or maybe the fact that at the outset of every meeting, I lay a pistol on the table. Who knows... Could be anything...
".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
- You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
- When you pry the gun from my cold dead hands, be careful - the barrel will be very hot. - JSOP, 2013
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Whenever I see someone whose strong suit is: "I'm going to be the first one to say 'f**k you,' and enact the role of the 'dangerous outsider' so you won't even think of messin' with me ..."
I think: there's a wounded child in there, somewhere, desperately afraid of the vulnerability they are busy concealing with so much effort.
In my experience as a therapist, for most men that has to do with the relationship with the father, and the "primal wound" that the father inflicts, perhaps as a consequence of our biologically driven social dynamic which requires "discontinuities" to propel the now-becoming-adult male out from the nuclear family matrix to become ... individuated.
Is the role of "dangerous outsider" bad ? The founder of the school of group psychotherapy I trained in, psychodrama, J. L. Moreno, believed that all roles have a place, utility, social value, and that the purpose of his therapeutic system was to enable people to have the freedom to play the roles they choose to play with enthusiasm and spontaneity, and to broaden the roles that people could play. Another key goal is the development of empathy, and the ability to "see into" the roles other people play, and what, beyond those roles, is their deeper hearts' concerns .
It is probably more correct to say that psychodrama is corrective social education in a group setting than a "psychotherapy;" and, it completely different from the classic psychoanalaytic schools, Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian, etc., using technques from (in our western tradition) "theater:" enactment, role-reversal, helping a protagonist emerge from the group whose exploration of their concern, their focal issue, reflect the concern, and issue, of the group as a whole ... so that when the protagonist has their catharsis, through projective identification it is a group catharsis.
But, catharis is not the ultimate goal; it is after catharsis, when there is a sudden dramatic freedom to lower the perceptual boundaries which we habitually use to control the world ... in that period of time people can, often, really "hear" each other for the first time, and know that they are not alone, special, but not unique, connected to their humanity.
cheers, Bill
«There is a spectrum, from "clearly desirable behaviour," to "possibly dodgy behavior that still makes some sense," to "clearly undesirable behavior." We try to make the latter into warnings or, better, errors. But stuff that is in the middle category you don’t want to restrict unless there is a clear way to work around it.» Eric Lippert, May 14, 2008
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I'm not joking at all,
I do not need psychiatric,
All I am worried right now is finding next job after notice period finishes...
Thanks,
Nitin
=====================================================
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
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If you're an introvert, why do you care what others think?
I certainly consider myself to be an introvert, and I've always thought being driven to not giving a flying f*** what others think came with the territory. Once others understand nothing bothers you, you become a boring target and they move on to pick on somebody else. That's certainly been the story of my life.
Besides, your employer is not paying you to grow your circle of friends. Sounds like you need to work with these people, but hang out with a different group--don't think these two need to be one and the same.
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Nitin Sawant wrote: First random co-workers passed obscene comments which I ignored as I was new joinee,
After that I'm being ostracized at workplace - going solo for lunch, snacks, coffee etc. I've been on the outside of the social cliques most of my life, but even so, in my experience, people aren't generally like that without some sort of reason. So, like others have said, it feels like there's more to the story here. Perhaps you offended them somehow or shunned their social feelers without noticing? Introverts tend to do that a lot more than they realize.
Nitin Sawant wrote: Now I resigned and random co-workers are defaming me.Even when I go for interview at random company some people wearing black clothes come and do sledging. Unless this is literal, it sounds like you're describing what in the US, would be described as "blacklisting" -- nobody respectable will hire you because word has gotten around that you're not an employee they would want to hire. Its also possible you're getting a bad reference from your former employer. I can't help with what to do about either.. for blacklisting, maybe move to another city far enough away that the companies wouldn't have a lot of exchange? But for getting a bad reference? I dunno.. make yourself attractive enough as an employee (accept crushingly low wage, do the work nobody else will do, etc.) to find someone willing to take a chance on you long enough to allow you to rebuild your reputation maybe?
Nitin Sawant wrote: I wonder what are the companies which hire remote C# developers globally? In this day and age of outsourcing firms, there's really no reason to hire a remote developer from another country. Its much easier to hire an outsourcing firm from another country and let them worry about their local labor laws. You might be able to find some contract stints though -- I've not looked into it, but have heard that there are job boards where people post small contract jobs. Since everything's handled online, where the coder is from isn't significant as long as they do good work and can communicate.
We can program with only 1's, but if all you've got are zeros, you've got nothing.
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