|
Most of the key phrases I remember mean you don't want to work here!
Seeking rock-star programmer -- We want someone who believes, "the show must go on" and will sacrifice their time, their health, their life, to get our software out the door. Oh yeah, and they can make a compiler sing, too.
Fast paced environment -- We want someone who will work their ass off nights and weekends because the pace is so fast that it takes 60 hours a week to match it.
Someone who can get up to speed quickly -- Our code base is a cesspool of technical debt, but don't expect any onboarding, and don't expect us to cut you any slack for not knowing what the people who made the mess know about the code.
|
|
|
|
|
I know each of these translations (in this thread) to be both correct and true. I am utterly flabbergasted by how often these phrases are used in job descriptions. I suspect they use them to keep mature programmers away, and to hire naive ones who can be abused.
I should have a .sig here, somewhere. Maybe Kibo can lend me some of his.
|
|
|
|
|
Is a cat that lives in an igloo an eskimew?
"I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!
|
|
|
|
|
LMFTFY
Is a catcow that lives in an igloo an eskimoo?
I'd rather be phishing!
|
|
|
|
|
Is a large flightless bird that lives in an igloo an eskemu?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
I think thats a bit of o strich.
I, for one, like Roman Numerals.
|
|
|
|
|
So I take it you'll have Nanavut then.
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
|
|
|
|
|
Inuit - and now everyone else knows it too.
I, for one, like Roman Numerals.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Purr-haps if it has central heating and Nanook to curl up in.
Ravings en masse^ |
---|
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Albert Einstein | "If you are searching for perfection in others, then you seek disappointment. If you seek perfection in yourself, then you will find failure." - Balboos HaGadol Mar 2010 |
|
|
|
|
|
My company builds high-performance commercial inkjet printers, which can print full-color duplex (front and back) at 17 feet of paper per second.
Why is it then that the ~50 page job I sent to the office printer 25 feet away 45 minutes ago is still less than half printed?
Oh wait.
Print jobs from Dayton Ohio get sent to a server in Rochester New York and then back to printers in Dayton Ohio. I know there's a telegrapher in the middle there somewhere.
I could drive home (20 minutes), print the file on my $45 printer (5-10 minutes), and come back before this crap is done.
Grrr...
Update: After a little over an hour, the print job failed at page 38 and restarted. Hurray. The phrase "kill it before it grows" comes to mind.
Software Zen: delete this;
modified 20-Jan-20 10:17am.
|
|
|
|
|
lol.
There's a french expression for that : "Cordonniers mal chaussés" (I don't know the English equivalent).
I'd rather be phishing!
|
|
|
|
|
Based on the literal translation, I'll take a guess. There's an English saying for doctors:
"Physician, heal thyself."
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Today it's more like: Cordon Bleu
|
|
|
|
|
1. take out your phone
2. take pictures of the doc on your screen
3. include a "save the forests signature"
4. msg to recipient
(yeah, even email is to old fashioned for kids the 'new generation workers' these days)
after many otherwise intelligent sounding suggestions that achieved nothing the nice folks at Technet said the only solution was to low level format my hard disk then reinstall my signature. Sadly, this still didn't fix the issue!
|
|
|
|
|
Normally I don't print much - a page or two at a time. In this case I have a 39 page specification that I have to match up, line by line, to a 50+ page source file. I'm probably showing my age here, but doing it on screen, even with two wide format monitors, seems claustrophobic and error-prone somehow.
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Gary Wheeler wrote: ... I'm probably showing my age showing my experience here, but... FTFY
after many otherwise intelligent sounding suggestions that achieved nothing the nice folks at Technet said the only solution was to low level format my hard disk then reinstall my signature. Sadly, this still didn't fix the issue!
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks .
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
Gary Wheeler wrote: which can print full-color duplex (front and back) at 17 feet of paper per second. Wow!
Social Media - A platform that makes it easier for the crazies to find each other.
Everyone is born right handed. Only the strongest overcome it.
Fight for left-handed rights and hand equality.
|
|
|
|
|
Exactly. That's faster than my train home.
I expect barrels of printer ink are quite expensive too.
Regards,
Rob Philpott.
|
|
|
|
|
Rob Philpott wrote: I expect barrels of printer ink are quite expensive too Yup. Our most common ink container is a 208L barrel, although some customers use a 1000L cube. I have no idea how much they cost. On a per-liter basis it's probably a lot cheaper than desktop inkjet, where you're buying a miniscule amount of ink and some throwaway hardware.
I'm fascinated by the numbers for this machine at times. The rolls of paper we print on contain 20,000 feet of paper or more, are 2-5 feet in diameter, and can weigh over 1,000 pounds. A new printhead (the bit that sprays the ink, and gets thrown away in most of the desktop market) runs $25K and up depending upon model. Fortunately they can be refurbished; we have heads in the field with over 10,000 hours of runtime. Just like the desktop guys you see in WalMart, we make our money on ink. Unlike the desktop guys, we also make money on head refurbishment and service.
A four-color duplex machine like I've described goes for $2.5M or more depending upon options, support agreements, etc.
Software Zen: delete this;
|
|
|
|
|
All you need is 150K bucks and installation space you could fit a truck into.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
Hurry You still have time to go home for the printout!
|
|
|
|
|
OI!
Don't knock cloud services! The buzzword fanatics will go into apoplexy!
And don't forget that the data has to loop a couple of times through each of several NSA server farms.
I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!
|
|
|
|
|
...If I wanted to smoke some weed with him.
I politely declined, I can't deal with high maintenance people.
|
|
|
|