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Don't. Never take the blame for another's failure. That is a road to hardship. It's OK to feel sad, like, "I'm sad the project didn't get done. It would be nice to see my awesome work at work!" But anything more than that - π¬
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I realize that on an intellectual level, but emotionally it's just hard for me to divest.
It's probably vestigial from when I used to take projects personally early in my career.
I've moved past it for the most part, but when projects go south I really don't like it.
I also think part of that comes from when I worked as a consultant, doing "project rescue", I've seen more bad morale than any single person should have to. meh.
To err is human. Fortune favors the monsters.
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My first job as an engineer was to do time studies to improve work flows. Within a week I realized that the morale on the floor was so bad nothing would increase productivity unless things went terribly south, which would have pushed people to quit... Yay! (Not.)
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That sounds horribly familiar. I'm glad I don't do "project rescue" anymore.
To err is human. Fortune favors the monsters.
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honey the codewitch wrote: I also think part of that comes from when I worked as a consultant, doing "project rescue",
In a previous job, me and other 3 guys were called the "Firemen squad" because we were always the ones called when things got too hot for the "normal" guys. We could guess how bad a project was, depending on how many of us were asked to overtake a project.
It was very satisfactory to be one of them and to save the day, but at the end of the day, it was continous stress, we sometimes did not even get a simple thank you (not to say a real rise)... Once the team started falling apart, I tried to avoid being the last in the sinking boot.
It is OK to be "affected" if something goes wrong, that's not a bad thing per se. The "bad" thing starts when it goes too far and you feel guilt even when it is not your fault. It is not easy, but it does really pay at the end, to learn how to say "go to hell and ![Elephant | [mastadon]](https://codeproject.freetls.fastly.net/script/Forums/Images/elephant.gif) yourself". Even though I am much better at it than before, I still have a long way to go.
I can only tell you: Patience and Resilience (focus in yourself, here and now. For the rest: .i..)
M.D.V. 
If something has a solution... Why do we have to worry about?. If it has no solution... For what reason do we have to worry about?
Help me to understand what I'm saying, and I'll explain it better to you
Rating helpful answers is nice, but saying thanks can be even nicer.
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I agree with David.
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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I feel you totally - even we are 9 developers working together, and we have also the customer providing the infrastructure on it's own, I always have to fight this crappy feeling when something somewhere goes wrong...
Just can't help it...
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization." β Gerald Weinberg
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In part it's because we're creative people. We make stuff to be used.
I get a kick every time someone uses one of my applications; I suppose it validates us to an extent, and proves that we're useful people. But like an artist that paints a picture that's locked away in a vault, when our creations are not seen / used / appreciated it's frustrating. Not in an arrogant, "look at me, I made that" way but just "it's doing what I made it to do" sort of way.
When I was a trainee programmer some (  ) years ago and my first commercial program (batch, on an IBM370) went live, my boss didn't tell me until weeks later. I was really annoyed, I couldn't understand why she'd not told me. Then I realised that I was writing code because I enjoyed it, the rest of the team did it just to pay the bills.
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Quote: Go to ParentIn part it's because we're creative people. We make stuff to be used.
Exactly. There is little at work more demoralizing than my work not going to production, especially since it's all by request - I'm not just making up pet projects to do. Things are changing for the better though and several of my completed projects are in review. For the first time in my life I see the point of good organization of management and employee pools.
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The short answer is because you're good and care about the overall project. Having pride in what you do is a real strength.
The longer answer is that it's tough for us to call it 'done' unless we see it in the wild. You may know it's 100%, but there's the piece that it doesn't feel done.
I'm in the same boat, to some extent. Though we're dependent on an outside vendor for Monday's soft launch. Their part is laughable, but critical, and have nothing. They don't care. Though I preach accepting things out of my control, I don't really live it. It still drive me nuts.
My advice is to never stop caring, but know when it is just time to sit back and watch the trainwreck.
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In cases like that I turn hostile and with harsh voice explain the real facts. I hate weasels and I act accordingly.
Advertise here β minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.
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The feedback-loop to dump dopamine into my skull and motivate the next charge...
It doesn't really complete till the whole orchestra is playing even if I'm aware I did a pretty bitchin' fiddle solo somewhere in the midst.
If someone really enjoys the work and is more concerned with success of the whole than their individual contributions it (motivation to carry others' water) is not at all a bad thing.
Where it maybe starts to come full circle and go Hyde (vs Jekyll) is the extreme of that. The same mindset, but possessed by a control freak.
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honey the codewitch wrote: one of the hardware guys has all but washed his hands of the situation
How about the other hardware guys? Can you show that it is a hardware problem?, If so, what does the project manager say?
"the debugger doesn't tell me anything because this code compiles just fine" - random QA comment
"Facebook is where you tell lies to your friends. Twitter is where you tell the truth to strangers." - chriselst
"I don't drink any more... then again, I don't drink any less." - Mike Mullikins uncle
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I remember a project where I had to write a bunch of stored procedures that moved money from various accounts in a real estate management system as part of a larger system development project.
I was just given a bunch of spreadsheets showing where and how much went on specific conditions.
They had budgeted 2 months to get this working.
I created a bunch of unit tests based on the spreadsheets and it was done in 2 weeks.
When demonstrating the solution to the client, they noticed a condition that was missed in the requirements.
I updated the tests, fixed the code, and ran the tests in less than 10 minutes while the client watched.
They freaked as they had never seen unit testing on SQL before.
They used my stuff to test the correctness or the rest of the project.
"Mistakes are prevented by Experience. Experience is gained by making mistakes."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
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Nobody should have "pride" in what they do.
Humble thy self and quietly serve others with the skills no matter how mad you have been endowed with.
This keeps you out of harms way.
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Ron Anders wrote: Nobody should have "pride" in what they do.
Being proud of your work, your accomplishments, and what you do is a good thing. Being overly proud and bragging is not. I believe there is a very distinct separation of concerns there.
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True - certain regulars here in the Lounge have become experts in the art of the Humblebrag[^]
Just sayin'
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Oh, I know, believe me. Totally agree, but still...
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I have never seen this word. Amazed it is in a dictionary. Sounds like slang or expression like humble pie
"A little time, a little trouble, your better day"
Badfinger
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Yeah, itβs definitely slang-adjacent in my opinion. Doesnβt take much to get into a dictionary these days.
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False humility is when you downplay the truth of your expertise. It helps no one.
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One of the reasons that you are good at what you do is that you do all you can to see the product from the user's eyes. That naturally gives you an emotional buy-in. You need a team of like-minded individuals, all with a similar buy-in, all with a creative bent, solving problems on the back burner because they niggle. These are hard to find. You are one.
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Because you want the project as a whole, and in greater sense the organization, to succeed.
At some point, you have to only worry about what you can control. Good luck.
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Wordle 628 5/6
β¬β¬β¬π¨β¬
β¬π¨β¬β¬π©
π¨β¬π¨β¬π©
π©π©β¬π©π©
π©π©π©π©π©
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Wordle 628 3/6
β¬β¬β¬β¬π©
β¬β¬π¨β¬π¨
π©π©π©π©π©
Software rusts. Simon Stephenson, ca 1994. So does this signature. me, 2012
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